Boy in the bubble (Modern Merthur AU) (Discontinued)

Chapter Twenty Two

Arthur didn't hesitate, slipping into his car without a second glance at Uther, he was finally happy and safe adn his pissy fatyher was not about to ruin that for him. 

"You okay?" Gwen asked, look at Arthur with dubious worry. 

"Fine." He muttered, starting the engine and pulling out onto the the road swiftly, "Let's just get to yours." 

Gwen didn't protest, just allowed Arthur to drive her, in silence, to her home. It was  much bigger than Merlin's but but smaller than Arthur's. It had the look of a real family home, a respectable build in brick in brick and gravel. They made their way inside, Arthur had been here before, the night when he and Merlin had unspokenly became lovers, when just before, while he had been at Gwen's, he had made some questionable, regrettable decisions with her, then returned home to a confrontation with Merlin that had unknowingly lead to some of the happiest days of his life. The baby blue walls and white panels that covered half of them had painful flashbacks resurfacing in his memory, the floor was wooden but their stairs were carpeted in a luxurious cream colour; he had climbed these stairs before, he reminisced, although it had been with a certain lust-filled clumsiness as Gwen had effortlessly stripped him of his short. He cringed, they were unwanted relivings, he wished to erase them from his past and mind altogether. To pretend he had been with no one in that way, but he had, it had happened and it was one of Arthur's regrets, which drove the confidence within him to feel he could truly break up with Guinevere tonight. 

Gwen sat, cross-legged, on her bed facing Arthur who waited at the door, his body slumped against the frame by his shoulder.

She smiled weakly, "You coming in?"

Arthur cleared his throat awkwardly, pushing himself off the wall and moving to the seat at the desk opposite Gwen's bed. The walls were all to familiar in their huey pink, the bed that sat meters from the desk, layered in a light purple duvet. Arthur would be lying if he said that that night had not been enjoyable for him, that he hadn't returned home dazed and drugged on a pleasurable high, but even so, Arthur regretted every moment that had buried itself in his brain. He had never mentioned to Merlin what had happened between him and Gwen that night, part of him guessed he didn't have to, and that Merlin already had his speculations, but also he didn't see the point in bringing it up. To him and Merlin, Arthur and Gwen's relationship was already terminated, they just had to wait until Arthur plucked up enough courage to officially end it, which, it was dawning on him, was gaining on him quickly. A love for Merlin, a boy he had once found insignificant, overpowering anything he had ever felt for Gwen.

Guinevere had been, is, lovely. She was sweet, kind and everything his father would want for him to stand by when he inevitably took over his father's abhorred company but he felt no attraction for her, he realised, he nothing on the scale compared to what he felt for Merlin. His body didn't react to Gwen's like it did to Merlin's; butterflies did not swarm his stomach at the sight of a smile, a delicate pressed into the cheek that he desperately wanted to caress for as long as he could, as often as he could; he didn't feel an insatiable need to wrap his arms protectively around Guinevere every time she so much as flinched. Not that he didn't want to protect Gwen, should the time come that she needed protecting he wouldn't hesitate to do so, although he suspected it would not be in a caring way but rather a dutiful way, like he would find himself doing for anyone should they be in a situation Arthur could protect them from. A life like he had, protection was driven into his bloo, every time Uther lay a finger on Morgana or one of their servants Arthur was ready to fight back, to push Uther to a point when he would turn to nobody but Arthur in a time of drunk rage. Arthur felt it as an accountability, if he could do nothing else, he would protect those around him. However, when it came to Merlin he wanted to do so much more than protect him, and although at one point he had been the thing Merlin needed protecting from, Arthur wanted to protect Merlin from everything, but without arousing suspicion, how was he to do that?