Boy in the bubble (Modern Merthur AU) (Discontinued)

Chapter Twenty Three

Arthur couldn't breathe, his heart hammered in his chest and his throat was contacting around thin air as he stuttered to respond to anything he had just comprehended.

"P-pregnant?" He asked finally. 

Gwen was still biting her lip anxiously, nerves pounding at every inch of her body as she waited for Arthur's response. She nodded, squeezing lightly at Arthur's hand. Said blond looked down to it; now, whether he wanted to or not, he had to stay with Gwen. 

"Okay." He gave her hand a squeeze back,, he couldn't abandon her but his heart deflated at the thought of being trapped in a relationship that was in no way him. He knew himself now, he knew what and who he was attracted to. Maybe if this had happened a few months ago, before he had ever kissed Merlin, he would be able to convince himself that he was happy and that what he had with Gwen was love. He had known no difference then. Now he knows Merlin, "I'm not going to leave you to deal with this on your own. I promise. But I need time to think about this. To comprehend this. It's a lot. It's - Well. I'll text you later."

Gwen looked sad, indescribably sad, but she also looked relieved. Relieved that Arthur had promised to stay, that Arthur had taken responsibility of the baby growing in her stomach. However, now the blond was leaving to 'think about things', he wasn't staying to comfort her in their hard time. This was a big deal to both of them. 

Arthur stopped just as he was stepping out of her bedroom door and turned to her fleetingly, "You want to keep it- them?" Gwen nodded, and Arthur did the same in return, "Then I'll be there to support you." 

And with that he left, leaving Gwen with tears of fear and relief rolling down her face, and oddly Arthur didn't feel the need to protect her then, not even know, with his child growing in her, if it had been Merlin there would have been a clawing in his gut to comfort and protect the man, but instead he walked in a trance like state out of her house and to his car, where sat silently for a few seconds before it all bubbled to his surface.

"Fuck..."  He breathed, slamming a hand down on the steering wheel and willing away the tears, however, he wasn't crying because of an unwanted responsibility placed on him so early in his life, he was crying because what did this mean for him and Merlin.

~~~

It was about two hours before Merlin arrived home from Freya's. All smiley and joyful, whereas Arthur had an indescribable feeling twisting at his gut, like guilt but worse. 

"Hey..." He murmured, leaning against the door frame of Merlin's room.

Merlin looked up from his desk, pushing out on his small chair and looking, wide smile and loving eyes, up to Arthur. 

"Hey. You okay?" Arthur face was contorted, like he hadn't slept in days, but of course the sleep he had had these last few weeks at Merlin's had been the best sleep he had had since he was eight-years-old. Obviously the bed he slept on was less luxurious than the one he had at his dad's house but here he had Merlin and he didn't have to sleep in fear. He wondered how much that would change over the next few days. 

"Can we talk?" His voice was solemn and the smile dropped right off Merlin's face, causing Arthur's heart to follow it to the floor. Shattering upon impact. 

"Yeah. Take a seat." He offered, patting the end of his mattress.

Arthur sorted a grateful smile, sitting down and taking Merlin's hand in his. Much like he had done with Gwen not even two hours ago but at least now it felt natural. The thought that what he had with Gwen was unnatural sent a kick to his gut.

"What's up?" Merlin sounded so genuinely worried, Arthur wanted to cry. To tell Merlin what had happened, what Guinevere had said and how all he wanted to do was run away with Merlin but now he had all these responsibilities and he couldn't morally leave Gwen to deal with them on her own.