Is that a fret ? [ Bakudeku performing Arts Au]

chapter 5

{third person pov}

It's a strange thing, affection. You don't necessarily always show affection, or know you are being affectionate in the first place. Bakugo on the other hand, was completely clueless on the matter, and that is something he knew quite well. Bakugo knew if there was one thing, he was not good at, was emotions, after than anger of course. This frustrated bakugo because he knew there wasn't something, he was doing necessarily wrong, its part of his nature. Bakugo is bakugo because of his cold self, but that didn't mean he didn't feel a bit left out. He was brought up in a warm cosy home, but with less cosy parents. They loved him and, in a way, he loved them. Bu they would never admit it, bakugo's mum shared the same type of stubborn pride and bakugo's dad, well he was a bit timid compared to the others. 'I love you' 'I'm proud of you' didn't come so easily from his parents, but he didn't blame them, if anything it made him push harder. Bakugo also knew that he was unable to tell what emotion he was feeling unless it was angry, confusing them with heartburn or coming down with a cold.

This heart-burn happened through out the entire exchange with deku on the couch, actually most 'conversations' he had with the nerd resulted in pain around the chest. It took him too long to realise what it was. He couldn't sleep that night cause all he could think about was the stupid song that deku had shared. He also couldn't sleep because of the 'confession' deku presented to the class. Bakugo just sat their and listened. He thought he knew the nerd well enough to read him, to know what was going on, like he used to do. But in that moment, he was sitting next to a stranger., no longer the whiny kid he was brought up with. Deku sure did still whine, but he had reasons to, he was allowed to, because he had a real reason. All that time in middle school, wasted thinking that deku just a whiny annoying brat, at least he could go home and cry to his mom. But he couldn't do that, he had no comfort in that time, not even a home. Bakugo didn't want to admit that he regretted the many times he bullied deku, he didn't even want to apologise. But he knew what he did was wrong, something in that song, opened up his eyes, even just a little.

He sat and watched to see deku shivering, holding his arms ever so slightly to avoid questioning or being pitied. Deku didn't need pity, he was strong enough to deal with his problems, but that self-sacrificing little brat would get himself killed one day. Something about this annoyed bakugo, back to regular emotions finally. He got up, announced he was going back and left without waiting from a reply. He wasn't scared fo waking anyone up yet, he didn't know any of them well enough to care about their sleep. Maybe he felt a bit bad that he didn't feel as loved or as part for a group than everyone already does. He felt a bit sorry for the 'bakusquad' (he thought it was a shit name) for trying so hard to get close to him, but bakugo doesn't do close. Bakugo doesn't do anything. So yea he didn't know anyone, but he knew deku. Maybe that's why he felt the urge to actually try and correspond with his existence, but not friends though, he believed he could never reach that, he didn't want to admit he wouldn't mind if they did though. Its all that stupid songs fault, that was the cause of these stupid emotions.

He had arrived in his dorm room, opened the door but didn't close it. He had an instinct to go into one of the unopened boxes and retrieve a blanket that his mother had given to him for Christmas or something. He had used it only a couple time, so it wouldn't be weird or anything. He felt stupid for doing the thing he was about to do. He prayed that he didn't go soft. But he knew he wouldn't be able to go to sleep if he didn't, so this was for himself, right? He walked back to the living area to find deku on the verge of a deep sleep and placed the blanket over him as gently as he could so he wouldn't wake up. The small boy stirred, allowing bakugo to get a glimpse of his face, he was smiling in his sleep. Bakugo felt the edges of his lips turn up, and allowed them to stay that way, no one would see. His hand unintentionally moved forward, having that same pulling motion when he was listening to deku's performance, gently ( which bakugo was not use to) pushed back a bit of the freckled boy hair that was ever so slightly tickling his nose.