What Is and What Should Never Be | Sirius Black

7. The Proposal

APPARENTLY, James Potter overhears a certain redhead Gryffindor, by the name of Lily Evans, express that she thinks the idea of a school dance would be nice. So he thinks the best course of action is to demand to the Headmaster, in front of the entire Great Hall, that there should be one.

"Mr. Potter!" Professor McGonagall starts, completely shocked at the boldness of her student. "That is quite enough!"

I watch from my seat at the Hufflepuff table in awe with the rest of the students.

"But profes-"

"Potter!" She says in a way that means he better stop talking, when the Headmaster speaks up.

"Actually, Minerva, that sounds like a joyful idea." He says to his colleague before turning to the boy. "When do you propose we have this dance, Mr. Potter?"

Everyone could tell that he wasn't expecting to get this far by his hesitation.

"Er," his voice is barely audible, so everyone leans forward in their seats. "Christmas?"

Dumbledore thinks for a moment.

"We would have to book a band." He admits thoughtfully. "But, if you were to help with decorating, I'm sure we could pull it off by the solstice."

I can tell by his sudden change in posture that Potter is just as shocked as the rest of us.

No one hears what he says next, but my guess is that he agreed because Dumbledore stands up to grab everyones attention (though, it isn't necessary because everyone is already listening to there discussion) and tells us that there will now be a Hogwarts dance the night of the Winter Solstice.

A wave of conversation engulfs the Great Hall as everyone starts worrying about writing home to say that they'll be staying for the holidays, or what they're going to wear, and most importantly, who they're going to ask. My mind immediately thinks of Remus, and I know I'm going to ask him, if anything, just to get him to speak to me again. Thinking of Sirius' advice, I'm this close to just cornering him and telling him I know about his Lycanthropy, and hope that that's the reason he's avoiding me.

~*~

On Thursday, I'm sweating as I walk to Charms class, I didn't think I would be this nervous about asking Remus, but knowing the conversation that will follow if he says no has me breathing in an uneven way. I'm not good with confrontation.

The seat beside him is empty so I plop right down and take out my books as he looks at me.

"Actually, someone's sitting there." He lies and I see right through him.

"Yes, me." I feel my heart pounding in my ears and the sticky sweat on my forehead that I wipe away.

Class begins and I start getting light headed. I'm clearly not doing too good, so as Flitwick is speaking I fear that my breathing is as loud as a Mandrake scream. Before I pass out I whisper to Remus,

"I'll be outside the class, in two minutes say an excuse to leave."

I don't wait for a response as my hand shoots up and I tell the professor that I feel unwell. Judging by my sweaty and probably red face, he doesn't question it and lets me go. I gather my stuff and leave.

When I get outside, I count to 60 twice, waiting for Remus to come out. But after I hit the 120 mark, I start to fear that he might not come out, nevertheless I continue counting anyway as my hands start to shake. When I hit 213 and I'm itching for a cigarette to calm my nerves, the classroom door opens and out walks Remus.

I'm both relieved and terrified as he looks at me with worry.

"What's happening, Des? What's wrong?" He asks as he approaches me and I take an audibly deep breath.