What Is and What Should Never Be | Sirius Black

17. The Giant Squid

BY THE TIME THE warm-during-the-day, deathly-cold-at-night weather rolls around, Debbie has finally heard me out, and while it takes a good amount of effort, she smiles and accepts my apology. She says she misses me as her friend, and I subconsciously feel bad about the things I said in the Gryffindor boys dorm about her.

Sometimes, though, I don't think Debbie has fully taken me back, because it doesn't quite feel the way it used to, like she hasn't fully forgiven me. It feels as if I might slip up at any time and we won't be friends again. But I'm guessing it must've been tiring disliking over half of your roommates. While Deb wasn't talking to me, I spent a lot of the time away from the dorm - I finally understood why Iman is with her Slytherin friends so often. I opted to stay with Remus, and consequently his friends, which I found out through Jane pissed Debbie off. So to compromise, she asks that I don't talk about or bring Sirius around her, which is fine: no Remus or Sirius around her.

Remus isn't too happy, though. He maintains that she doesn't deserve to be my friend, but goes back to being civil about her because it's what I want. It's confusing and tiresome, but I have my friend back, and I'm guessing Debbie cleared things up with everyone else, because my other housemates have seemed to understand that I never stole Sirius from anybody.

So it feels like I did the right thing.

And, bonus: I don't have to rudely keep my distance from Sirius, and we can go back to being normal friends.

On a particularly nice spring evening, instead of changing into my normal clothes like usual, I just throw off the sweater and blazer of my uniform and keep my shirt and skirt as I start on my homework. All my roommates are crowded in as well, so we open a window to let some fresh air in and hope the noises outside will distract from the fact that none of us are speaking. I would put a record on, but my dad asked me to bring my player home for the break and I forgot it when packing for school.

I try my best on my Ancient Runes homework, when my hand starts cramping and I'm forced to take a break.

"How come they don't give us lined parchment?" I ask, tilting my head at my droopy writing.

"All my essays are written on a diagonal." Iman says and our dorm room door opens.

A younger year Hufflepuff looks at the four of us in concentration with pink cheeks.

"Er - Is Des here?" She asks, pronouncing my name with an unsure voice.

"Yes." I say and she looks me over but doesn't say anything. "Can I help you?"

"Totally, right." She shakes her head as if she forgot something and her cheeks gain more colour. "Uh - Sirius Black is asking for you - er - actually, he's outside the common room - like - right now. Do you know him? What am I saying, of course you do - he asked for you. He told me to tell a pretty girl he's waiting and of course I should have know it's you - I mean, look at you, you know?"

I bite my cheek to stop the smile pulling at my mouth from the girl's rambling. My eyes catch Debbie's quill in her death grip; technically, it's not me talking about Sirius.

"He have a jacket?" I ask the girl and she stops her talking to look at me instead of the ceiling in which she was having her conversation with.

"Oh - yes, brown one." She nods and I get up from my bed.

"Right on." I say and step out of my dorm before turning to the flustered girl. "Thanks."

"Yea, yea." She says before turning in embarrassment and heading the opposite way.

I pass through the common room with a slight skip in my step and walk through the entrance. Sirius is leaning on the opposing wall against one of the barrels and looking like he hasn't got a care in the world. He isn't wearing his leather jacket instead of his blazer like usual, but the corduroy one is in his hand just as promised. He turns his head at the sound and smiles, letting his eyes travel over me - probably to see which inappropriate outfit I have on today.