What Is and What Should Never Be | Sirius Black

12. The Great Sleepover of '77

ONE AFTERNOON in the Hufflepuff common room, after a day of exhausting classes, Debbie and I sit at one of the tables to study and read. She's working on a potions essay and I borrow a book from one of the shelves, but I'm not paying attention because Debbie keeps talking.

"So I asked him for Valentines weekend." She continues.

"Oh, really? What're you gonna do?"

"Not sure yet." She shrugs and flips the parchment. "What about you? Fancy anyone?"

"Yes, actually." I flip the page without retaining any information.

"Lucky guy." She smirks at me and I smile slightly at her, wondering if she's gonna ask who it is, but she just goes back to talking about Sirius. I frown when her gaze drops back to her writing.

"Are you not curious?" I interrupt and she looks back at me.

"Well, I figure you'd tell me." She dismisses and I can't tell if she actually wants to know, I get a little annoyed so I unintentionally blurt it out.

"Sirius." I say. "It's Sirius."

She looks up at me with raised eyebrows, still hunched over the parchment and quill in her hand. I hope my face doesn't convey the regret I feel at my words.

Helga, how awful can I be? Admitting to fancying my friend's boyfriend!

"You have the hots for Black?" She asks, speaking in a monotone voice.

I nod tentatively, my grip a little tighter on the book in my hands. Why does she still call him Black?

"Huh," she goes, "cute."

And she drops her head to continue working on her essay. I stare at her in slight disbelief. Cute? What does that mean?

I don't know if it's just an acknowledgement or condescending, but I do know that I need some air before I suffocate on my own stupidity. I put the book down and make the excuse that I remembered Remus asked me to meet him. I can't tell if she buys it, but Debbie doesn't lift her head up as she tells me goodbye and I walk out of the common room.

My shoes pad across the corridor as I wander aimlessly, not knowing where to go or who to go to. I'm not even sure if I want to see anyone. But I don't get to make that decision as I see Sirius on his way towards the Hufflepuff common room while I'm making my way away from it.

My immediate thought is that he's going to go see Debbie, so I leave him be but he speaks anyway,

"I was just going to see you." He says with a smile.

"Me?" I clarify and he nods.

He's wearing his leather jacket but holding his old corduroy one and I'm confused.

"What's happening?" I ask.

I look around to see if I could find Remus or the others, but there's no one in my sight as I turn back to Sirius.

"Smoke?" He asks and I think for a second.

The thought of me hanging out with Sirius right after the conversation with Debbie should make me feel guilty - I mean they're going 'round, it's all said and done - but it's just so natural to go for a smoke with him now that I nod. He tosses me the jacket he's holding and I catch it, realizing that he brought it for me so I wouldn't be cold. I blush at the thought, but put it on over my crop top anyway and follow him out.

"That's new." He moves his pocketed hand and I look down to where he's pointing at my new belly button piercing.

"Got it over the break." I say, pulling his jacket a bit tighter around me.