What Is and What Should Never Be | Sirius Black

11. Exploding Snap

HOGSMEADE weekends mean kids are free to go to Hogsmeade on both Saturday and Sunday. But usually those that go on the Saturday stay in for Sunday, and vice versa. Now, this is excluding those like Debbie, who got up earlier than usual on this January morning.

"Where're you going all dolled up?" I ask as I rub my eyes, still in my bed.

"Heading to Hogsmeade." She says, taking out her rollers.

I stare at her for a second, doubting myself.

"Did we not go yesterday?" I ponder and she checks herself in the mirror.

"Yea, but I asked Black to come with me today."

"O-oh." I stutter involuntarily. "Like a date?"

"I'm pretty sure it's not 'like a' anymore." She puts up air quotes before packing her bag.

"He smokes, yea?" She asks and I nod, making her have to look at me for the answer.

She throws in a new pack of cigarettes and I comment before I can stop myself.

"He doesn't like menthol." I blurt out and she furrows her eyebrows, switching the cartons.

"Anything else I should know?" She asks. "Allergies? Preferences? Seems you know everything about him."

"Er - what're you gonna do?" I can't help but ask, not wanting to go down the path she's implying. I'm watching everything she does, like she's going to attack me any moment.

The jealous feeling in my stomach is back and I remember my chickening out of telling her my feelings towards her thing with Sirius. I know it's too late now because they've been out multiple times, and to my dismay, I've seen them snogging when I was trying to get to class. The evil, green monster tells me to hex them and claim it's an accident, but I know that's selfish and wrong. They're both my friends and I should not be thinking those things.

Debbie gives me a look.

"I don't know, mum." She eyes me up and down. "Why, you a narc?"

"Just wondering." I say a little too quickly, then cast my eyes down at my quilt and flush. "I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Can it wait till I get back?"

"It's important." I say, as it relates to who she's going to be with, and what little courage I have has finally built up enough for confrontation. I take a deep breath to calm myself.

"Tell me after." She's about to cross the dorm to leave when I try again.

"But, Debbie-"

"Des." She says sternly. "This is important to me, you know how much I dig him."

I bite my cheek from saying anything else. If this is important to her, I guess I can hold out.

"Right." I back off. "Have fun."

She sighs at me.

"Jane's staying, if you really need to get it off your chest."

I nod once again, staring at the imprints of my legs under the covers. The door clicks shut and I'm left alone in my room, wondering if it's worth talking to Debbie about. Clearly, it's a little too far into their relationship to confess my thoughts - and I'd be a right bitch to tell her that I don't want her to have him for no truly valid reason.

~*~

Jane keeps pestering me to come hang out with her and David. I promised that I would hand out some flyers for her around school, she likes the activist approach when it comes to unfairness she sees, and her cause this time is the inequality and prejudice against magical creatures. Normally, I love helping with her with her causes - especially one like this. But, with my mind on Sirius and Debbie, my origami birds are flying haphazardly towards their recipients, which doesn't look too good for the cause. Janie tells me to stop and eat something for my own good.