Our Script

Chapter 28

Illiana's P.O.V

Shay cried herself to sleep I walked out of the room. Stephen was in the living room. I was exhausted, why are Shay and I paying for the guys mistakes.

"Hi, how is she?" He asked.

"She's sleeping, I think everything just has her shook" I responded.

"Can we talk now?" He politely asked.

"Fine, let's get this done with" I said.

"I'm not sure where to start." He said.

"Let's start at the beginning you came into my life while I was spiralling, at first all you did was hurt me. Somehow we became friends and then you abandoned me, just like that you chose not to speak and I wondered why and the only answer I could think is I was almost." I said.

"Almost what?" He asked.

"We'll never know cause you chose not to stay. I said.

"Well I came back, I know I can't ask you to act like it didn't happen, but can we restart, just give me one more chance." He pleaded.

"Can we just be friends?" I asked.

"Let's not put a label to it" he said.

"Fine, but no expectations either." I said

I jumped on the couch we smoked a joint and drank wine.

"I thought you didn't smoke?" I said

"Cigarettes"

"So how many girls have you slept with?" I asked.

"Like 9. How many boyfriends have you had?" he responded.

"One." I answered

"Wait what. Why? He said in shock

"It's my turn. How long was the longest relationship you've been in?" I asked.

"2 years, now answer" he said

"It was just because. . . It was. . . Well you see. . . Cause. . . I thought I knew who he was and I guess it gave me comfort just knowing, not questioning. You know I kinda believed he would stay and not hurt me." I said kinda zoned out I guess the wine kicked in.

"Did you love him?" He asked.

"I thought I di. . . No, I knew I didn't but he was there and I believed that. . . That was enough. I mean he was constant and maybe that's what I wanted. Looking back I kinda think I stayed cause I didn't love him so if he left it wouldn't hurt." I said sipping on my wine.

"What about me?" He asked.

"You scare me, what I feel for you scares me. The very thought of you has me undone, it's like I'm a moth drawn to a flame I know the effect you'll have on me. I tried staying away from you, I tried to hate you but something keeps pulling me towards you. I know I sound corny, almost poetic but that's just how you make me feel. Dangerously safe." I said.

"Then will we ever be together?" He asked.

"You hear what I'm saying but you're not listening. I'm scared of losing you so I push you away. When I push you away something pulls me towards you like a magnet, I can't not love you" I said lighting up another joint.

"So why bother pulling away?" He asked.

"Because everyone has a habit they wanna stop, an addiction they want to quit and you just happen to be mine. Why do you want to be with me? " I responded nonchalantly.

I killed the joint, Stephen doesn't spoke weed during game season then I laid on his chest

"Well this habit or addiction doesn't want to quit you" he said.

I don't know if it was the wine or the weed, but I got up got off his chest looked at him and then I kissed. At first he was caught off guard then he kissed me back, my guard went up automatic.

"What was that?" He asked.

"A lapse of good judgement" I said.

"What are you scared of!?" He said frustratedly.

"Before you came along my life was perfect, I could deal with the problems I had. A year ago or two I asked why everyone left and my conclusion was that I wasn't enough, so I became content with not being enough. Then you came along and now I'm scared of not being enough. . . Now I'm trying to figure out if you're in love with me or if your just temporarily happy with my existence." I said.

I try not to make lying a habit, but I think I should lie more often. I'll start tomorrow, when I don't have anything in my system.

"It's not. . .temporary." he said.

"Maybe it isn't, maybe it is. That's the thing with infatuation, you often mistake it for love" I said.

"Why don't we try this out and keep our minds open to all possibilities including us being truly in love. We'll take it slow...." he offered.

"I'm not sure. . .But. . .okay" I said.

He them sweetly kissed me on my forehead and wrapped his arms around me. For a whole second I felt safe like nothing on this planet could touch me. His arms were the fence and his heart was my home. I mean this has to be love right we can't both be wrong can we. I fell asleep in his arms. I woke up and everyone other than Shay werr in the lounge smiling at the site of the two of us.

I stood up waking up Stephen.

"I need to pee." I said.

I went to the bathroom and then went to check on Shay. She was hugging the pillow and crying. Gosh she's really heart broken I sat next to her.

"You know I love your brother but he hurt me. . .why would he hurt me like this?" She sobbed.

My brother walked in a couple seconds later.

"Shay...." he said shook at the sight of this beautiful girl falling apart in my arms.

"I don't think now is the right time." I said shooing him away.

He left.

Shay continued crying her eyes out. I wish he I could take away her pain