Santana Lopez and the new girl

Part 8- the new me

Its been exactly three days since that night, and i haven't been in contact with Santana since. I haven't slept and i was losing weight, even when all i did was sit in my room since it happened. I had school today and i just didn't want to see Santana. I had tried my hardest to get out of it. I even shoved my fingers down my throat and threw up in the kitchen sink to try to get my mom to let me stay home. But no, she told me i could pull through and to stop being a wimp. Well fuck her! I had no choice now; i had to stop being a pussy and get to school, which included seeing Santana. Once again i was staring at myself in the mirror, but this time i was seeing a different person. There were bags under my eyes, my arms and legs were thin and you could count pretty much all of my ribs. What had i become? It didn't have to be this way. But it was, and that was that.
Tina picked me up as usual. Something changed on her face as i opened the door, but quickly vanished as she greeted me.
The school day was normal, i saw Santana around from a distance, but she never saw me, which was good because then we didn't have to talk to each other.
I found myself thinking about her in the middle of spanish, which mr Schue taught. My mind ran through every little thing that had happened since we'd met and it all seemed to end badly for me. I knew what i had to do. Mr Schue told me i could leave when i raised my hand and said i needed to go to the restroom. Only i wasn't planning on going for a piss.
I knew exactly what class Santana was in for every single lesson of the week. She had science right now. I looked through the window and it looked like they were just listening to the teacher at the moment. Her eyes were wondering all over the place, she tended to do that when she was bored. Her eyes settled on me and a confused look came over her face. So i gestured for her to come outside and see me. The next thing i knew, she was raising her hand and opening the door to leave the classroom. We waited for it to shut before we said anything.
"What the fuck was that?" She asked, clearly she was back to normal again. "Couldn't you have waited till after class to talk to me? These lessons are pretty vital to me."
"Sorry" i said half heartedly. "This just really cant wait."
"Well? Spit it out. What's going on?" She asked, now a little concerned.
"That night. It was wrong. You were upset, didn't know what you were doing. It cant happen again. Sorry Santana."
She looked shocked and angry. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're blaming this on me? Sure i was upset but i did know what i was doing. And so did you. You knew perfectly well what was happening and you didn't stop it. You wanted it. You cant say you don't want it anymore right here, right now." She was right. So right it pissed me off. I did want it. I wanted it more than anything. Except one thing...: to keep my secrets hidden.
"Santana i-" and once again i was cut off. Only this time it wasn't by tears... It was her lips on mine. This time the kiss was a soft, gentle kiss, the kind that could make you happy when you were sad. She kissed me once then pulled away slightly and came back for another. But i pushed her away. Not hard, but it was forceful.
"Don't you get it? Im falling in love with you. Im falling in love with you, even though, ever since i can remember, I've been pushing these feelings away, and you've just pulled them all back up. You've destroyed everything that i've worked my butt off on with one kiss." She looked at me, slightly pained.
"Stop." She said quietly, almost whispered. "Stop trying to hide who you are. It will always be there, and one day there will be no more hiding. You will get sick and tired of fighting and just stop. And when you do, it will feel so good, and you can finally relax. So why cant it be now? Here with me, you can relax and just stop hiding. Im trying to help you A. Just say yes." I had tears in my eyes. That was the most moving speech i had ever heard. In fact, it was the only speech that had ever been directed at me. I didn't have to answer, i just moved towards her slightly, wrapped my arms around her waste and hugged her. "Thank you." I whispered in her ear as we hugged. She just hugged me a little tighter. I was the one to pulled away first. Remembering how long i had been gone from class. "I think we need to get back to class." I said as her eyes moved to look up into my eyes. "But thank you. Thank you so much. You are the only person, i think, who would ever do something like that for me."
"Its okay. I mean at the end of the day it works out for me anyway." She said, shrugging it off. Why does she always do that?
"Sure." Was all i said as i walked away.
I didn't get in any trouble from mr schue, i guess i got special treatment since i was in the glee club. Well thats what i thought... When the bell went everyone got up to leave and i was just at the door when he asked to see me.
"Whats up mr schue?" I asked a little nervously.
"Nothing in particular. Don't worry you aren't in trouble, i just wanted to know were you went when i excused you from the lesson."
"To the restroom." I said, acting like it was a dumb question. But he just looked at me and raised his eyebrows, as if he was disappointed. "Okay. Fine. I was talking to Santana." His face relaxed but now he looked a little puzzled.
"And why would you leave my lesson to talk to Santana?" He said, stressed a little on Santana's name.
"I just really needed to talk to her about something." I said getting uncomfortable, and suddenly having the urge to leave.
"Is everything okay with you two?"
"everything's fine mr. Schue, don't worry about it. See you at glee club."
"Okay Annie, as long as you're sure. See you at glee club."
I gave him a grateful nod and walked out of the room, to find Santana waiting for me at the door.
"Hey." I said a little confused as to why she was waiting for me. "Whatcha doing?"
"Waiting for you. What was that all about?" She asked as we started to walk slowly down through the corridors.
"Mr Schue just asked me were i went when he excused me."
"So what'd you say?"
"I said that i went to the restroom."
"And? Did he believe you?"
"No. So i told him the truth. He thinks somethings up. Should we talk to him about it?"
"About what? Nothing's going on remember?" She said with a wink, as we stopped in the corridor right outside the restrooms. She tilted her head back slightly, "wanna go for a really long piss?" She asked, putting on a sexy smile. All i had to do was smile back, and she had my hand and we were rushing through the door to the restroom. We were cut short though, because when we opened the door Quinn, brittany and a few other cheerios were in there, in front of the mirror. They looked up when they heard our excited giggles, which were abruptly cut short by the sight of the girls in front of us.
"Hello Santana." It was Quinn who spoke up. "Whatcha doing?"
"Q." Santana said back, surprisingly calm, although i could see her hands were rubbing against each other behind her back. "Well if you must know, i was hoping to have a nice piss. Which is, if you didn't know, what most people do in restrooms."
I laughed a little at that, and i saw the Brittany and a few of the other girls did as well. Untill Quinn jolted her head to the side slightly and they quickly silenced themselves.
"That's not what it looked like." Quinn said, smiling slyly at her bitchy comment. It was true though. We weren't thinking of pissing at all, we were thinking of doing something a lot more exciting.
"Well im sorry to disappoint but it was." Santana said back. It was a bad comeback and i could tell she was growing anxious.
"Whatever." Quinn said back. "We were about to grab some lunch at Breadstix. Are you coming?"
Santana hesitated for a while, i knew she was thinking about it. On one hand if she said yes, she would be leaving me, and be with people who she was hiding a pretty big secret from. But on the other hand if she said no, well that would be social suicide.
"Well?" Quinn asked growing impatient.
Santana shook her head. "No." She said, almost as though she wasn't sure. "No." She said this time, more confidently. "Sorry Q, not today."
Quinn looked shocked. But she just shook it of and her look of shock was quickly replaced by her usual bitch face.
"Fine. We don't want you there anyway. You can stay here with your girlfriend if you want, we don't give a shit." Quinn said, losing her cool.
"Hey! I-" i tried but Santana stopped me by moving her hand slightly and just whispering "its okay Annie, just leave it. Don't give them what they want."
I just sighed, pissed of, and leaned against a cubicle door as the cheerios walked out. Quinn gave me an especially dirty look, and i just glared back. When the door closed i turned to Santana and looked at her with a shocked face. "What the fuck was that!?" I asked, getting angry. "Santana how could you surround yourself with those people? Call them your friends?" I asked, genuinely surprised. She stepped towards me and took both of my hands in hers, looking into my eyes.
"It's okay. Just calm down okay? They're just bitches being bitches. Don't let it get to you." She said, her voice calming me down. "Besides they're not all bad all the time. They're just jealous that I'm hanging out with you and not them, and that we are both hotter than all of them put together." She said and kissed my cheek. I smiled at her and let out a small laugh. "Now." She said, back to her normal self. "Do you want to grab some lunch?"
I just bit my lip and looked to her, then to one of the cubicles, pulling a sad, puppy dog face. She laughed a little. "Or...." She said, getting the gist. I nodded, smiling.
"Or." I said back. I pulled her by her hands, which i was still holding, and backed into a cubicle. I already had her back against the cubicle wall and was kissing her intensely before the door even shut behind us. The kiss went on for a while, still intensifying. Her hands moved from my hair to my waist, to down lower slightly then up again. We heard the door open and the familiar, confused footsteps of Brittany S Pierce. We stopped kissing straight away, and looked at each other, worried. I think she must have heard our rapped breathing and our lips against each others because the next thing we knew her head was poking over the top of the wall that separated our cubicle from the one to our right. Santana was still pressed against the wall and my body was pressed against hers, my arms around her neck.
"Brittany!" Santana yelled, pushing me away from her. "What the fuck are you doing!?"
"Quinn sent me back here, she said that i had to get her some tissues for her bra." Brittany answered. "What were you two doing?"
"Talking." I answered quickly.
"Are you sure?" She asked, unconvinced, which was surprising since brittany usually fell for pretty much everything. "Because it looked like you two were making out."
"Britt please dont tell!" Santana said, completely ruining our chances of keeping this a secret.
"Santana!" I said, both awestruck and confused.
"I wont." She said, shrugging. Then disappeared.
"BRITTANY!" Santana yelled, making me jump slightly. Brittany's head popped up again. This could have been comical if it wasn't so terrifying.
"Yeah." She said, looking at us like this was a normal, everyday situation.
"Please Britt, please don't tell."
"I wont." She said again, and went to jump back down again. But before she did, Santana said one last thing before she went.
"Promise me Britt?" Santana's desperation was showing all over her face. "Promise not to tell?"
"Okay." Brittany said, nodding. "I promise."