The Jungle Girl

37-The Conversation

When we walk out the doors we're hit with an almost freezing windchill. Shay curses and drags Alaia closer to her. Someone calls us dykes. Shay flips them off. We all laugh and huddle closer.

We're getting closer to the buses when Shay stops. Alaia and I look over at her in curiosity. She takes her free hand out of her pocket and points at something in the distance. I follow her finger to the football field and see that there's someone sitting all alone on the bleachers. Ryan.

We look at each other for a moment, no doubt all contemplating whether we should go over to him. "Bindi, you should go talk to him," Shay finally says.

I raise my eyebrows. "Me?"

Shay nods.

"What happened to him being a bad influence?" asks Alaia.

Shay shakes her head. "He's different now. And I think he needs a good influence in his life." She looks over at me. "Maybe you can be that person."

I don't bother hiding my surprise. I wait a few seconds for her to start laughing, saying she was joking, but that doesn't come. I let out a breath creating a fog in front of me because of the cold. "What do I say to him?"

"Just talk to him," says Shay. "Let him know you're there."

I nod reluctantly and let go of Alaia's hand. I take out my phone and text Zenny that I'll take the late bus home. I look over at Shay and Alaia one more time. They're still holding hands and give me a thumbs up before turning and heading towards the buses.

Ok, don't even say bye I guess.

I start walking towards Ryan. The closer I get, the more nervous I become. What am I even doing? I can't comfort him. I don't even know what to say.

I wrap my fingers tighter around my backpack straps and keep walking despite the voice in my head telling me to turn back.

Twenty feet away.

Ten.

Five.

I pause right behind the bleachers and take a breath as if I could suck up some extra courage.

Ryan's sitting on the edge on the bleachers and I step right next to him. He continues staring straight ahead and I'm not sure he knows I'm here. I step on a crunchy leaf to make my presence known. He takes a quick glance in my direction and goes back to looking straight ahead, wringing his hands in his lap. His face is flushed from the wind and his hair is blowing every which way, yet he still looks good.

It's silent for a few more seconds before I decide that this is on me.

"Are you ok?" I ask tentatively.

He shrugs and looks down at his hands.

This is a bad idea. He doesn't want me here.

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask, already turning my feet to go.

"No," he answers quickly. "Stay."

I nod, surprised. He scoots down the bench which I take as an invitation to sit down. I take off my backpack and set it on the grass, knowing it'll get filthy.

We sit in silence for a bit, listening to the wind.

I clear my throat. "So... what happened back there?"

Was that too blunt? Fuck.

Ryan smirks before taking a breath and glancing at me. "Is this the part where I tell you everything? My whole life story?"