The Suicide List

When I was nine,

Love came, when a car was parked across from our house along with a truck. The house across from us have been on sale for months. Surely there's a new owner. I looked out from the window of my room. I saw a man going out of the car. Together with him is his wife. Then a little girl bringing a teddy bear. Then... there was this girl, probably my age. Her dark hair flows perfectly with the wind. She had earphones on. She is really beautiful. Like an angel. Like a princess that I see in movies. A fairy tale dream that was brought to life. I smiled. She may be my first crush if she's in my school. All of a sudden, she looked at our house, until she looked up and saw me. I immediately hid and went away from the window.

Nighttime came when gran tucked me in bed. I'm quite excited when she told me that she'll take me fishing tomorrow with her friends. I can't wait to see Ferdinand tomorrow. I was about to close my eyes and sleep when I heard rustling of trees. I then hid under the sheets, fearing it might be the monsters outside. Sooner, there was a knock on my bedroom door. I then rush out to hug gran. But as I opened the door, my eyes were wide. My heart was beating fast.

"Hi." She said softly, taking off her hood, "You must be Sebastian."

It was not gran. It was the pretty girl I saw earlier, the neighbor next door.

I nodded.

"I'm Kayleigh Barrow." We then shook hands, "I saw you looking out earlier."

"How did you get in here?"

"I climbed the tree near your room." She smiled and it was angelic, "It was easy to climb by the way."

"Why did you get here?"

"I was looking around, trying to find a friend. Then I saw you."

"Sorry for looking out on you earlier."

"Its okay." She giggled, "I just want us to go somewhere."

"Where?"

We both climbed down the tree and went to the farthest part of the neighborhood. We went there by walking and when we arrived, I gasped by the beautiful, overlooking view of the neighborhood below.

"I want to fall off this cliff."

"But, isn't that deadly?" I asked.

"I want to die Sebastian. Everyone hates me."

"Don't say that Kay. Not everyone hates you."

"Really? How can you say that?"

"I like you." I said and Kayleigh blushed, "And people hate me too. Like my parents. They left me."

"So you should fall off this cliff with me."

I sighed, "Okay. One day? We'll do that together?"

She sighed back, "I promise." Then we did a pinky promise.

We went home an hour later and before I went to my room, Kayleigh pecked me on the lips, making my world stop.

"I hope to see you again Sebastian."

"I... I hope to see you...too- uh... Kayleigh."

She then smiled and climbed out of my room and left.

But I never should've said that. 

We kept seeing for days within summer. We would wake up at dawn quite often, riding our bicycles everywhere within the neighborhood, go and play at the playground, or go to the farthest part of the neighborhood again. And we would go home together before sunrise, either holding hands or she would peck me on the lips before going to her house. Kayleigh was my childhood sweetheart. My first love. And I fell in love with her.

But after summer, it just stopped. School began but she wasn't studying in my school. I would wait for her at dawn but there was no Kayleigh. Last time I heard she was in Europe.

And that was it.

And I didn't see her again for a long time.