The Suicide List

Five minutes later, we were at the comedy bar.

As we entered, the red-colored atmosphere surprised me. There were various disco lights and spotlights and people laughing at the comedian's jokes on the stage.

"Come on Sebastian." She called and I followed her. We went to the counter of the comedy bar and Kayleigh began to order.

"What's your wish Sebastian?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

She giggled, "I'm sorry. I mean what's your order?"

"Oh." I giggled, "Tequila would be fine."

"Perfect." She grinned, "Tequila for two please."

The bartender then gave us the drinks and we looked for a table for two people only. We then sat there and watched the show.

"Why comedy bar?" I asked.

"They said this place have the greatest comedy shows. Just wanna experience the thing."

"Sounds fun." I said as she nodded. Moments later, the show started. As the show went on, Kayleigh kept laughing. But I just looked at her. My mind kept going back to what happened earlier. I almost kissed her. I almost kissed Kayleigh Barrow. I wished I would disgust what happened earlier and just thank the heavens that it didn't happen. But part of me wanted it to happen and I cursed the honk that stopped us. The way she looked at me earlier was like heaven, and it suddenly gave me the urge to feel her lips, to taste her plump,pink lips. I knew right then and there that there is a deal we agreed upon. But I didn't care. I fucking hate that deal. I don't want it anymore. That moment,all I wanted was the angel right in front of me.

I kept looking at Kayleigh and focused on the way she smiles and laughs while enjoying the show. The way her eyes crinkle, the way she glows. I realized she hadn't changed at all. She's still the same from when we were kids. She still looks like an angel, a fairy tale too good to be true, a princess, or even better, due to all she has been through, she became more of a queen.

Could it be that my nine year old self came back? The nine year old boy who saw Kayleigh through his bedroom window and before he knew it, he fell hard? I wish that I'm just feeling a phase. I wish that I'm just missing Colleen. Because if my nine year old self came back to me, then there is one thing I'm certain: I'm falling in love to Kayleigh Barrow all over again.

I was too lost in thought that I didn't know the show was over. I was just tapped in the shoulder by Kayleigh and she smiled, causing me to go back to reality.

"Hey." She smiled, "The show's over. Let's go."

Minutes later, we continued driving ahead. Kayleigh turned on the car speaker and listened to the music, smiling. I would glance at her every once a while, my eyes never seemed to get off of her.

"Did you have fun Sebastian?"

I smiled, "Yeah."

She smiled, "Next time, you bring your friends and loved ones there. The bar never gets old. I promise."

I glanced at her then back at the road, "I will." I smiled.

We continued driving until we stopped by the side of the road to rest. I then looked at Kayleigh who is asleep before I went to sleep myself, tempting to brush her hair away from her face and just kiss her forehead.

But I couldn't do it. I shouldn't do it.

I can't feel something like this to someone who's about to commit suicide.

I'm just a getaway driver. Nothing more.

Damn Kayleigh, I thought, what the hell are you doing to me?