Captive Angel

20. Can't or won't?

"Christine. Ready to go?" Erik called from the front door at 4:30AM in the morning.

"Yes!" I answer back. We spent our honeymoon in the country at the mansion. It was quiet, but thankfully we didn't fight the entire time like we usually did before. We did singing lessons after breakfast and in the afternoon he composed his new musical Don Juan Triumphant. He never did let me look the lyrics, so I was left finding my own entertainment, so books to read from our library. 

The musical Hannibal was to open the public now starting this evening. I walk out the house while he loads the car. "How on earth did you manage to get the managers to let me take the week off?" I ask Erik while he loads the car.

"Let's just say someone left a note saying you needed a break." He smiled at me then stepped in the car. I got in the front and I was still tired from staying up watching so I kind of fell asleep on the way there. 

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The white gown sparkles with the ceiling lights glimmering over it. "It's really marvelous!" I say to the seamstress. 

"And with a marvelous woman wearing it," She happily says, "makes me proud of my work." 

"There are so many people." I whisper to myself. 

"And only me." A dark voice says from behind me. That voice and that mask made me jump a mile high. 

"You scared me." I say in a non-teasing tone. 

"What do you think the Phantom does?" His dark yet sexy voice questions me. I roll my eyes.

 I reply, teasingly.  "Hopefully, he'll stop startling me."  I sigh while peeking through the curtain. I never knew how much a crowd of hundreds of people could be so scary! 

"There goes your lover." Erik grits his teeth. I knew if he and Raoul ever got close to 20ft. Raoul would be dead. 

"Erik, please." 

"What else would you call him?"

"Ex-boyfriend." I give him an answer. He looks at me like I was-no, like I am so innocent. 

"Girls, get ready!" The Ballet Mistress commands. The ballerinas make sure their hair and costumes look good. A few of them start giggling when one girl's slippers aren't tied. "Enough, girls!"

"You better get-" I almost say, but he's already gone.

The play begins with the ballerinas with their chains, dancing  and then the spotlight hits on me. The orchestra plays the song Think of me. This had to be the most frightening moment in my life-next to being kidnapped... I sing what Erik taught me during music lessons and my mind still can't grasp how I know the notes. And the end of the song was not as hard as it was before when practicing. The crowd applauds, even some men whistle... This wasn't what I expected. 

"All right, girls. You all did well." Madame Giry praises everyone after the curtains close. "Christine, come with me." 

I follow her to my costume room. "Dear, I know Erik married you." Madame Giry says right out of the blue. How does she know? Wait did Erik tell her? 

"How do you know?" I inquire. 

"It's pretty obvious with the wedding ring on you left hand." She replies, smiling. 

All I say is, "Oh, right." Taking the ring off before Raoul sees it. 

~~~~~

"You sounded great, Lotte." Raoul praises me, coming inside the room once Carlotta's. "I have a surprise for you." He pulls out a bouquet of pink and white roses. 

"Raoul, I have to tell you something." 

"Christine," Raoul cuts in, "at dinner tonight." He pats my shoulder and walks towards the door. 

"No, Raoul, wait!" Before I even shouted those words, he already left. What was I going to do? I can't go out with him, can I? No, it would be wrong. I'm already married. 

Then a strange feeling comes. "Say goodbye to your lover." The voice says from behind me

"Erik, please, don't!" I plead, "murdering isn't the answer." 

"In this case it is." He says, not very happy at all with my childhood friend. 

"Just let me tell him tonight at dinner." I ask. Erik rubs his hair, pondering what me going out to dinner with Raoul would mean. 

"All right. But break it to him tonight." He finally gives his permission. He gives me a hug, "And I'll be watching." 

This isn't going be good...

~~~~~
"Listen to me, Christine." Raoul says at dinner, "I want to marry you." 

I practically choke on my water. Marry me? Oh, my... how am I going to tell him I can't marry him? I'm already married to someone, Raoul. I want to say so badly to tell him. But this would ruin my career. And no one would look at seriously. "What?" 

Raoul gets down on his knee in front of serveral other people in the room. "Christine," He asks, "will you marry me?" 

I don't know how say, "no" in front of all these people. And looking around the room. "I can't." Confused, he asks again without seeing my discomfort. "Raoul, I can't." I repeat myself. And over and over in my head it's killing me because I want so badly to tell him we can't have relationship. 

"Why?" He questions me. In front of everyone in the restaurant. 

"Can we talk in private?" I ask trying to keep the eyes of strangers off of me. 

"Fine." He answers with slight annoyance is in his voice. Raoul takes my arm and somewhat tries to look like he's leading me, but is really pulling me outside.

"Raoul, I can't marry you."

"Can't or won't, Christine?!" He squeals. I almost giggle, but stop myself. Whenever he tries to yell, he sounds like a little girl.

I stare at him in the eyes. Those eyes used to be the eyes of child's play. Yet now they're a young man's. And now a man who is proposing to me. A man that I was destined never to marry. "Both." I answer. "I'm already married." 

"You can't be, little Lotte? I've waited years for you to come to your senses!" He says loudly again with a little hint  I try to not laugh. 

"Raoul, I think of you as a friend and not a future husband. I think there's another girl our there who would appreciate who you are, but.." I continue, "I'm not the one for you. I"m already married to someone else." 

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