Peace of Mind{18+}

Ten

Sabrina POV

Church was amazing and now I was helping Mama Mary cook dinner. Well she was doing most of the cooking and I was the test taster. Sunday dinner was my favorite thing about this family. No matter what they all came together to have dinner. It makes me happy that I was accepted into this family.

"Come here and taste these."she says giving me a bowl of mashed potatoes and I smile.

"It's delicious."i say.

"Thank you baby."she says as I scoop the rest of it.

"You're welcome."i say.

"So when are you going to find that special someone?"she ask and I sigh.

"I'm not really looking Mama. I just don't want to get my heart broken. I mean I never tried the relationship thing before because of my situation. I know that a lot of problems can come with relationships and I don't want to get hurt."i say.

"Relationships are always going to be hard. Nobody relationship is perfect. You have your arguments and heartaches but when you love someone and I mean really love someone you will overlook all of that. Love is really a beautiful thing. You're going to get hurt in this world either way but what matters is how you learn from it. How you grow from it."she says.

"I tried dating but they weren't what I was looking for."i say.

"What are you looking for?"she ask.

"I'm not picky but I just want someone to love me for me. To never judge me and hear me out. Someone to be my friend but also tell me when i'm wrong. Someone to hold me when I get my nightmares about my past. Someone to understand me. Is that so much to ask for?"i say and she smiles.

"No it isn't baby."she says.

"How do you know when you find that someone? Your soulmate?"i ask.

"Trust me you will know. That person will be the one person you can't live without. The one who smile can make you feel like everything will be okay. That person who loves you despite everything. That person who makes you more mad than anyone but yet you wouldn't want to be anywhere but with them. That person will make your heart race every time you see them. That person will literally take your breath away. You will know when you meet him."she says.

"Wow."i say.

"I know a little something about love."she says.

"Mama,can I ask you a question?"i say.

"Yeah."she says.

"Why are you living in this big house by yourself?"i ask.

"Well I already found my person and I can't move on from him. No one would even come close to him. I'm fine living in here because i'll know i'll be okay. We disagreed a lot but if our love is as strong as I think it is we will once again reconnect. Right now it's just hard for us."she says and I hug her.

"I admire you so much."i say and she hugs me.

"I admire you Sabrina. You're brave and strong."she says.

"Thank you for everything."i say.

"You don't have to thank me."she says.

"GG."Layla screams through the house and I pull away from the hug.

I clear my throat and fan my eyes trying to stop myself from crying.

I am such a big crybaby and I hate it.

Layla runs in the kitchen and hugs her grandma.

"Brina."she says turning to me.

I pick her up and she hugs me.

"Hey pretty girl."i say.

"Sorry we're late Mama."Ryan says.

Her, Trenton, and Jayce walks in.

"It was my fault mama."Jayce says.

"Hey, are we on for a tea party after dinner?"i ask.

"Yes."she says and I smile.

"You're actually on time because food is ready. Let's all grab hands, bow our heads, and pray."she says and we do that with her leading the prayer.

*
Me and Layla were in the living room enjoying our tea party. She had all of her toys out and it was actually fun.

"Can I have more tea?"i ask.

"You may."she says pouring it.

She laughs at me trying to hold it properly and I laugh.

"Daddy are you going to join us?"she ask and I turn around to see him leaning against the wall.

"Not this time princess but I need you to go upstairs to watch TV while I talk to Brina."he says.

She grabs her favorite stuffed bear and runs upstairs.

I get off the floor and sit on the couch.

He sits down next to me.

Ryan walks in.

"I don't hear talking. I sent you in here to talk so do it."Ryan says and walk back out.

I giggle at her.

"I guess there is a lot I don't know about you."He says and I sigh.

"That is not fair Trent."i say.

"Not fair? Not fair is me trusting in you and telling you secrets that my damn family don't even know about. I told you things that my mom doesn't know about Bri. So don't you dare throw that shit at me."he says and I was trying so hard to fight my tears because I was a very sensitive person.

"Please don't be angry with me anymore. I am so very sorry that I didn't tell you but don't you dare throw that in my face because I told you stuff Ry doesn't even know about."i say trying not to yell.

"How can I not be angry? It makes me so damn angry because you went through that and there was not I could do to stop it. I care so much about you and I hate that you went through that. I'm angry because I had to find out from someone else when it should've been you who told me."he says.

"Trenton please let's not fight about this."i beg as tears were falling down.

"Out of all the things we said to each other, you fail to mention this to me."he says

"I didn't want to tell you because I was terrified of how you would look at me. I didn't want you to judge me or see me any differently than you do now."i say.

"Then you really don't know me the way I thought you did."he says.

"I am so sorry Trenton. Do you hear me? I apologize for not telling you but I can't take it back. I understand why you are upset with me and you have every reason to. I know that you trust me with so much and I do the same with you. I know that I don't deserve your friendship but I would never want to do anything to lose you. If I could I will turn back time but what's done is done."i say.

I stood up wiping my tears. I began walking towards the door but he grabs me softly and pulls me back on the couch. He pulls me into him and I feel so safe in his arms.

"I am so sorry for making you feel this way. I was just a little hurt. I don't derserve your friendship."he says

"I'm sorry."i say while laying my head on his chest.

"I'm sorry too."He says wrapping me up and I close my eyes sighing.

My mind is at ease and I sink into his touch. My heart begins racing and I knew that wasn't a good sign for me.

I was slowly falling in love with him and that terrifies me.