"Awe baby whats wrong?" She asks looking at me. "The song. It- It- It explains everything" I cry into her and she hold me in a hug. "It was my last relationship. He changed me for the worse and no matter how bad he was for me i kept crawling back to him." I explain. "Oh my gosh I am so sorry. I never want people to go through this situation. It's a terrible thing to go through and getting yourself out of it is even harder. You are so strong for getting yourself out of something so horrible." She comforts me. I look up at her and she puts her hands on my shoulders. "You are a beautiful young woman and any man who can't see that doesn't deserve you. You need a man who will be with you through your ups and downs and will love you unconditionally. Be with someone who can handle you and never settle for less. If you ever need to talk again please, don't hesitate to call me. Ok?" She says. I nod my head yes. She wipes my tears and pulls me into one last hug before she has to leave. Thankfully Shawn wasn't there to see my break down. I dial his number on my phone. "Shawn where are you?" I ask. "I'm out front, I'll come back and get you now." He says and i hang up. I wait a few minuets until I see him jogging to come get me. "Hello Beautiful, how was your little conversation." He asks hugging me. "It was insightful. And very much needed." I smile thinking about how concerned and caring she was. He grabs my hand and we walk to his car. He gets me in and then comes to the other side. He turns on the car and pulls out.We drive back to my house. "Shawn." I say and he looks over at me. "I don't want to go home. Can you take me somewhere?" I ask. I really don't want to go home. And I know its almost Thanksgiving, but i need to get away." I say honestly. "I don't want you to miss Thanksgiving with your family, but I'll make a deal with you. If we stay here until this weekend I'll take you some where special." He says. "You promise?" I ask. "I swear. We will drop off the grid for a while. Take time to ourselves. We both need it." He says. I nod my head "Okay." I say and then half smile. He gets out of his car and gets me out before i can get myself out. "You looked so beautiful tonight. You looked better than any princess or a queen that has ever lived." He says and i start to tear up. This is the kindest person I have ever met and I don't know how I ever got so lucky. I hug him as tight as i can, and we just sit there for a few moments. He kisses My forehead, but doesn't let go of me. I pull away and grab his hand. We slowly walk to my door. I open it and he walks in with me up to my room. He gets me out of my dress and I take off my make-up off. I get up and he hugs me from behind. His hands on my bare body sends chills trough my body. We walk to my closet and I get in my pajamas. He picks me up bridal style."Shawn!" I laugh. "The queen mustn't walk!" He plays. He gently places me on my bed and tucks me in. "I'll see you soon princess." He says kissing my head. "Stay with me." I say grabbing his hand. He comes back and lays down with me. I turn off the lights and he sings me to sleep. When I wake up he's not here. It doesn't surprise me though. I roll over and out of bed. I make my way downstairs and make myself some cereal. I watch the news for a little. They're talking about the AMA's last night. Then I see a picture of Shawn. My bowl drops. "Late last night we caught singer/songwriter Shawn Mendes leaving a house sunny Santa Monica House. Could it be the girl he brought to the AMA's? Is it possible this so called innocent boy that stole the hearts of many preteens is having sex with the owner of his record companies daughter, Ashlynn Anderson? You guys will have to wait and see like the rest of us." And that was it. I sat there and stared at my TV screen for about ten minuets. I don't know what to do or say or think. I would never. I'm still a virgin. I would never do that. I'm waiting for someone special. And I'm not saying that Shawn isn't special, It just isn't time. I mean for god's sake I just met him a few days ago. I gt snapped back to reality when my mom comes in. "Sweet heart what happened. Why is there a smashed bowl on the floor. I don't even respond. I just rewind back to the part and lock myself in my room. I lay on my floor like a starfish and start blasting my music. I don't want to be bothered, at all. My phone vibrates and I just ignore it. I get up and get on a pair of shorts and a nice floral shirt. I throw on a pair of booties, and walk out the back of my house. I walk to the cemetery to see my grandfather. He was always there for me when I needed him the most. I throw on a pair of sunglasses and walk to a flower shop. I bought some sunflowers and walked to find his gravestone. He called me his sunshine, and he said sunflowers were as bright as the sun, so he always brought me sunflowers. I set them down on his grave next to me. "Pop Pop, I miss you so much. You always knew how to deal with my problems. You always had my back. I can't believe it's been three years already. I need you. I need you to hug me when I'm sad. I need your laughter. I feel like I'm missing my other half Pop Pop. I don't understand this big world without you. It's to hard and scary and painful just like you said. And I was young I know, but i never knew how truly difficult this world is. I mean sometimes I don't think I can handle it. But then I think about how you and how you always called me your rock and you always told me how strong I was. You were my rock and you we're the strong one. I still need you. Mom needs you. Lucas needs you. We all still need you. I just wish you could come back to us. I love you so much." I say crying. I lean on his tomb stone and lose it for a while. I just need my Pop Pop back. He's my everything. I decide to get up and go somewhere else. I just start walking and I find myself at this little lake Pop Pop always used to take me when I was little. He taught me how to fish here. He taught me how to skip rocks. He pretty much taught me everything I know. I walk around and skip rocks until I get hungry. I walk home and go through the back door again. I see that nobody is home, so I get myself a whole bunch of fruits and some Gatorade. I go up to my room and get back into pajamas. I eat a little here and there for the rest of the day. I decide to go to sleep early. It's about 8 and I turn off my lights and turn on my TV to the music channel. I slowly drift off to sleep. I wake up the next morning and I decide to check my phone. I text back my friends my mom knows I'm fine because she came into my room last night. I just don't text back Shawn. It's just what happened yesterday freaks me out and I don't want to talk about it. I click off my phone. "Ashlynn?" A familiar voice says. "Why didn't you answer me?" He asks again. "I was worried sick about you. I came to your house once I heard and your mother and I came up to get you but you weren't here." He says. "I needed a day to myself." I said in a monotone. "And you couldn't have texted me this?" He asks again. "Ashlynn look at me." He says with hurt in his voice. I don't look at him. I don't want to. I don't want to look at anyone. "Ashlynn! Start packing. We're leaving in about an hour!" My mother yells up to me. We go to Mexico every Thanksgiving to see my fathers side of the family. I get up and do my morning routine, then walk to my closet. I bring out my suit case and pack bras, thongs, bikinis. short, tank-tops, shoes, everything. I fit everything in two suit cases. I grab a little carry on bag with my tooth brush, toothpaste, deodorant, make-up, and hair products. I throw on a cream long sleeve shirt with thin black details on it over top of a black collared shirt. I then put on a black chiffon skirt with a black slit attached on. I slid on short black heels and gold and diamond flower earrings that Pop Pop gave to me. I put my hair in a low bun with a fishtail braid above it. I grab my navy blue pocketbook and throw in a few books, magazines, my macbook, phone and laptop charger, and a Gatorade. I grab my bags and walk towards the door not once do I look at Shawn. "God Damn it Ashlynn look at me!" He demands. I set my bags down and slowly turn around. "You know none of that shit is true." He says. "Yes, I just had a really shitty day yesterday. It's something that you wouldn't understand, and I will not talk about. I have to go Shawn. I will talk to you later." I say, pick up my bags and walk out of my room. I start pulling my bags down the stairs, until Shawn comes and grabs my bags. "I've got it." I say. "No you don't. Just let me help." I go to grab my bags, but he's already past me. I just let him take my bags down stairs and my dad packs everything in the car. Shawn pulls me into the backyard. "Ashlynn tell me whats wrong." He says. "It's the shit that started yesterday. My Pop Pop told me my life would get difficult being my parents daughter and living in California. He did everything he could to keep me out of the press, and he did. I never got into trouble nothing went wrong. He was my best friend! Then I started dating this boy and he told me it wasn't a good idea. I knew it wasn't a good idea. He was a bad person. He was a terrible person, but he made me feel good. He gave me a different kind of attention that I got addicted to. I feel in love with him. And my Pop Pop tried everything to get me out of this relationship. It was the only thing I didn't listen to him about. And then he died. He was here one day and the next he was gone. I trusted that man with everything. He was the only thing that made me who I am. My parents we're never home. He was everything to me. You don't know what it's like to lose everything you've ever know. And It was my fault! Everything is always my fault. It's my fault he died. It's my fault he cheated on me after two years. Two fucking years Shawn. I was in love with him, and he was a bad person. I knew he was. But I wanted what I wanted and nothing was going to change." I yelled crying. He came up and hugged me tight while I lost myself in his arms. He stayed with me till I finished crying and walked me to my car. He even came to the airport with us. I drove with him. He gave me his sweatshirt when we were about to board the plane. He said it was so I wouldn't feel alone when I was gone. I was gone for a week, but I would feel like forever without Shawn. I'm going to miss this boy so much.
Thanksgiving is next! I'm excited. see y'all soon! :)
