Supernatural BSM

I Am Damaged- Sister Y/N

3rd Person Pov

It had been several months since the return of Y/N, the youngest and only daughter of the Winchester family. The young girl had made a deal with a crossroads demon nearly six months ago, trading her life for her brothers after a hunt gone awry. Y/N had never told her older brothers about the deal to spare them from doing the same thing, yet when the day came, she just left a note- said nothing more- and vanished into the night, waiting for the hellhounds. After almost spending three months in hell, it was almost like nothing happened, she was standing outside the heavy metal door of the Men of Letters Bunker.

Some time had passed after her showing up, nearly four weeks ago and things werent back to normal. Sam and Dean had both figured that she had made a deal shortly after her leaving unannounced, they both did anything and everything to try and get her back- Castiel tried doing whatever it took to get the young girl, that made his world brighter, back. But when nothing worked, they all accepted defeat and decided that there was no point in pursuing a lost cause. Then the cause wasnt so lost anymore, Y/N was back; yet, she wasnt. The happy girl that they knew, wasnt the one they got back. Y/N's smile wasnt seen. Y/N's laugh was never heard. Y/N was never fully home.

The behavior shown by Y/N was that of a cold-hearted girl that was never shown love. The new Y/N was irritable, she was short tempered, she hated the world and anything that came from it. Sam, Dean and Castiel all shared the same concern, the same worry on whether-or- not theyd get their happy little
Y/N back.

*************************************

3rd Person Pov

It was a quiet rainy day in Lebanon, Sam was out on a supply run and Castiel was somewhere doing whatever an angel does on a rainy day. And Dean stayed behind to watch after Y/N incase, something happened or if she did something to herself.

Dean had picked a comfortable spot in the kitchen eating a sandwich with a mountain of bacon in between the slices of bread and cheese. Nothing much happened, that is until Y/N walked in. The atmosphere in the room quickly thickened and became heavy. It seemed like a frozen lake; having to take caution what you did and where you stepped.

"Hey, Y/N, are you hungry? Theres not much in the fridge but I can make you som-" Dean was cut off by Y/N sighing loudly, "No. I'm not hungry but I would appreciate it if you not talk to me." She had said talking aloud as she began to boil water on the stove top. "Do you know if we have tea?" There was silence. "Dean!" she turned from the cabinets to yell at her brother. "Do we have tea?" she said in an irritable tone. "You said not to talk to you. And frankly I dont want to, youve been a bitch ever since youve got back. So, you can either talk about things or stop acting like you hate everything that you see." Dean had said sternly. Y/N was silent, yet her blood, like the water, boiled. She tried ignoring him as she continued her personal task.

Yet instead of dropping the conversation, Dean kept trying to pry at the scab. "Honestly, I didnt even act like this. I know what hell is like, yet you didnt see me acting like a dick to everyone around me." "Don't compare myself to you." Y/N had gritted her teeth in annoyance to her brothers words. "Because you know I'm right. You know the only reason why I'm comparing you to myself is because its true. If I acted like this to you when I came back Sam would have had my head. Dean argued against his younger sibling." "Stop!"
Y/N yelled in anger, trying to get her brother to cease his words. "Y/N you dont get to living just because you fall. And you damn well dont act like this because of something you did to yourself."

And just like that, a new hell rose.

"Oh fuck you Dean! If it wasnt for me making that deal, you and Sam would be dead and hell, who knows, maybe even that fuck toy angel of yours!" Y/N screamed. "Y/N-!" Dean couldnt even get through his sisters name before she started again, "You dont get to tell me how to feel after what I saw! After what I did! After what Ive been through you dont get that right! If I had a dollar for every single bad thing youve done and how youve negatively reacted after, Id have enough to buy the entire state of Kansas!" Y/N had reached a level with Dean that shes never been to. "I know you were tortured and you sure as hell tortured souls in hell but that doesnt give you-"

"Shut up Dean! It was you! It was all you! Y/N had done it, she reached her breaking point. I never tortured a soul, because I couldnt bring myself to do that to another! I couldnt give someone else that same pain no matter what theyve done! So, I dealt with the torture! I put up with it, but it was no demon, it was you. Everyday you drove different things into my flesh, everyday it was a new pain that I had never experienced before. But each day, I was back together. I was back in one, just so you can start in all over. You were the cause of my cries. You were the reason I bled. It was all you."

There was a newfound silence in the bunker. You could hear a pin drop from the other side. You could almost even hear the rain pour on the outside world. Dean and Y/N had their eyes locked from where they stood. Deans no longer held anger, they held sadness. And
Y/Ns held anger and tears.

"When I walked through those doors, I knew I was walking back to the real you, but I didnt want to look at you in fear of it being a dream, and being torn right in two again. I didnt want to feel that same pain." Tears fell from the young girls eyes, this was the first in years that tears had made it down Y/Ns face without her playing it off as if it were something else. The two Winchesters were at a standstill. The world kept going but to them, it seemed as if it were frozen in time. That is, until Y/N spoke,

"I am damaged. Far too damaged."