𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞 ||𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧||

8

i've been standing in the room with my mouth open for the last fifteen minutes, just listening to whatever kenma's parents are asking. they are talking so fast, no pauses or stops, they are talking over each other getting closer and closer to me. i still have no idea what to answer, i am just as confused.

"tetsurou-kun, please, if you know anything..." kenma's mother says to me as she takes my hand, her face is riddled with concern.

"could you please repeat the questions? i... couldn't quite catch them", i smile sheepishly as she sighs in relief.

"did kenma seem upset when you were hanging out?" she asks. my mind wanders back to your little garden date, oh how i wish to go back to that moment right now. kenma had the brightest smile on his face, he talked so much, he even told me which flowers fit me - and at the end of the day, he gave me a hug so warm that my cheeks started burning up.

"no, he seemed to have a good time" i answer, but they still seem worried.

"did he tell you anything weird? maybe some trouble he is in?", kenma's father chimed in. a normally quiet and composed man is now standing in front of me, frowning.

"no? he didn't look as if something was troubling him? can you tell me why you're asking? maybe i could ask him?" i finally managed to squeeze in my own concerns. there is no way they would pester me so much if there is nothing going on.

"well, we noticed him being secretive lately. he has been ordering stuff but never tells us what, he always closes his laptop or locks his phone if we come in, he has been coming home late - we are just worried he might be in some trouble...", his mother finally explains to me, which brings back some memories, some recollections - kenma doesn't go home with me that much anymore, he keeps on going somehwere else. maybe it's related.

"i will ask him" just i say this the door opens revealing kenma. he looks at us with wide eyes, probably confused as to why we are all here.

"kenma!" i say as i walk up to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. "i'm here for a sleepover", for a moment there i see the fear flash in his eyes, something really is wrong. but i cannot keep pretending that i haven't noticed anything wrong.

this whole situation, plus the posts on social media - it's driving me crazy. he posted more on his instagram, he even uploaded stories from our garden date. i should stop calling it a date but i cannot. kenma keeps posting pictures of himself, each outfit more and more revealing - not the type that a guy would wear which is concerning. the captions are more and more cryptic every time - some of them definitely about me such as 'you looked so handsome amongst the flowers' and 'i can still smell your cologne on me, wish you would embrace me again'. 

i would be lying if i said that my cheeks didn't burn up when i read them or that i didn't save the pictures he posted, he still looks adorable no matter what he wears and as time goes on i feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into these feelings.

"oh, uh, okay. let's go to my room then, sorry it's a bit messy" kenma says quietly, he passes his parents giving them a smile. i can see the pleading looks they are giving me.

kenma's room is the same as in the pictures, incredibly tidy and beautiful. fairy lights all over the walls, small skethces and polaroid pictures, the color scheme is bright - a little bit girly, i would at least expect some gaming stuff or volleyball related things - but no.

kenma seems on the edge, he keeps glancing at me as i look around. it's been so long since i was here, but the space feels familiar. "you really changed up the look of this room since the last time i was in here", i laugh. 

"yeah, i like it better now", kenma flashes me a smile before throwing his backpack on the floor, he quicly pushes it under his bed.

"i bet if i look around i will find some steamy stuff you are hiding", i smirk at him, but his expression doesn't seem good. "we are both guys here, c'mon, show me your stash"

i see kenma fidget a bit where he is standing. "i don't know what you are talking about kuroo, i...have nothing to hide", he says as he hangs his head low, not looking me in the eye. real good tactic to look innocent, kenma, now i know for sure he is hiding something.

"just show me..." i chuckle as i step forward, i reached out for his closet - that's where most stuff is hidden. however, i am more than surprised to see kenma jump in front me, guarding his closet with his entire body.

"do not" he says in a stern voice. 

"kenma, c'mon, i just wanna see your taste", i tease him, but...

"kuroo, you are my friend, right? as a friend i am asking you to not look, okay?"

"what could you be hiding, kenma? i'm sure whatever it is we can laugh and joke about it, you don't have to embarassed"

"this is not a joking matter!", for the first time i hear kenma raise his voice which makes me stagger back in pure shock. 

"if you keep being so secretive i might start thinking you're into guys or something. or maybe you crossdress, kenma. seriously, stop being so serious", to say that my heart is tearing in two pieces as i watch kenma's eyes swell up with tears would be an understatement. his hands are tremblung, oh no, what did i do?

"and would you hate me if i was into that?", he asks, i can see it now - kenma is afraid.

"we're both guys kenma, it would be kind of weird. are you still mad about me not going to the drag show? that was ages ago!" i know that what i said just now is even worse, but somehow i cannot close my mouth. "i just don't like dudes who dress as women, that's so weird and offputting"

"then get out", kenma looks at me, his eyes are filled to the brim with tears - i want to say something more, but i messed up enough. i shouldn't have said anything. 

i am a hypocrite.

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Hope you enjoyed!

I ate 5 cheeseburgers and i want more

See u later!

Hatari