AMOR FATI . . . fred weasley

III. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONTS

12:04 AM 24/02/1995

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。..·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

WHEN JOEY ATTLEE LAUGHS, she laughs magnificently. In fact Joey's laugh captures hearts: whole and ringing and louder than war.

    Lola Lemont, meanwhile, does not laugh at all (unless your name is Lee Jordan, perhaps, and even then a smile only dances on her lips very rarely). The night before the Second Task is, therefore, no different; as Joey and the Weasleys enter an almost-empty common room, a breath after midnight, Lola simply looks up from her Astronomy essay and eyes the three howling redheads with curiosity and suspicion.

    'What have you done this time, or do I not wish to know?' she says.

    'We just Transfigured all the frogs in the Great Lake into - into Chocolate Frogs!' wheezes George.

    Lee sniggers delightedly, leaning forward from his seat curled up next to his girlfriend to high-five the three in turn. 'Bloody brilliant!'

    'I cannot tell if you are genius or brain-dead,' says Lola, rolling her eyes to disguise her amusement.

    'Excuse me, we're fucking iconic.'

    'That's 'cause of your tragic lack of creativity as a Scorpio, Lols,' says Joey, her laughter finally subsiding.

    Lola rolls her eyes again before returning to her essay. 'I don't get why you believe all that bollocks Joe,' says Lee.

    'You're just salty 'cause I said you're most likely to die by stepping on a banana skin 'cause you're a Leo.'

    'Death by banana skin wouldn't be too bad,' says Fred. 'Great conversation starter at the funeral.'

    George's head bounces up and down in agreement. 'I agree. There are worse ways to go, like seeing a massive fuck-off snake that lives in a loo.'

    All four heads turn to Joey. She crosses her arms sulkily, because just for once she wishes they'd stop insulting her about the fact that she got Petrified - well, in the bath. It surely isn't her fault that she was preoccupied making her rubber ducks dance in the bathwater! 'You won't let me forget that, will you?'

    Simultaneously both twins lean forward and ruffle her hair. 'Never.'

    'Do you think Salazar Slytherin was bald?' she asks suddenly.

    George frowns. 'Why mate?'

    'Well, everybody always talks about the heir of Slytherin, but nobody ever bothers to mention the hair of Slytherin!'

    'Brilliant.'

    Lola swears loudly in Welsh. 'That is the worst thing I have ever heard.'

    'If I die on a banana skin and die tonight, Joe, I'll die contented knowing I heard you ask that.'

    'Well, it's a serious question! Do you think the four founders had pamper parties? Like, can you imagine Slytherin and Gryffindor making friendship bracelets? Merlin, let's all make friendship bracelets!'

    'I would rather perish,' says Lola melodramatically.

    'That can be arranged,' mutters Fred.

    Joey pokes him warningly in the cheek. 'Fred, behave.'

    A Muggle-born on arrival at Hogwarts, it was rather unfortunate that Joey had been blissfully unaware of the heated blood rivalries that had plagued the magical world for centuries. It was also rather unfortunate that she befriended, unknowingly, perhaps the pettiest of rivals on her first day at the school: Fred and Lola, who hailed from the Most Upright (or as Fred liked to call it, Most Shite) and Majestic House of Lemont.