Forever Badass

1~2

     A KNOCK on my window...

I slowly and quietly opened my bedroom window. Logan fell in and knocked my table with his foot. I caught my phone with my arm and gave him a scorn.

"Stop looking at me like that." he said, sitting on my bed. "What's the plan?" he continued, looking down at my sheets.

I sat next to him and pulled out my laptop. I was lucky enough to get that at least.

I typed in Earth Portal in the dark web search bar. For obvious reasons the angels blocked certain search results so no one could escape. The dark web is run by a couple of rebel teenagers and is a demon's only way of accessing said blocked searched results.

A list popped up and I turned it to Logan. He examined it closely and his face warped into many different expressions, showing this was confusing for him.

"And you have all these things?" he said.

"I know a couple people." I say smugly. "But one thing you're gonna need is a body. As soon as you touch earth you'll burn alive from the sunlight if you don't have protection."

"Where do I get one?"

"Think about how you died...what ever out you here. If you think about it hard enough you should get one when you get on earth."

Logan squeezed his eyes shut and I couldn't help but laugh when the idiot actually farted. 

"You got something out." I said, still trying to contain my laughter.

Logan ignored me and made a mental checklist of the things we needed. "Metal...bodies...weapons...negative energy...the last thing we need is positive energy."

"You know where to get some?" I asked, turning my computer back to me.

"You should find some at the border between heaven and hell...just that the guards are always watching you like hawks," he stated, "like, what if I went there just to take a shit? Do I really need 25 angel guards watching poop come out my ass?"

"Bitch focus!" I shouted, laughing more.

"Look I'm just sayin'."

Later, when we were sure everyone was asleep, we left for the border, carefully making sure we didn't leave any tracks behind. It was going to be a long journey, but it was also going to be hella worth it.

At the 2 hour mark, Logan and I decided to crash by an abandoned train station. Walking had bored the living shit out of us. 

We laid on the ground, just on the inside of a pole so we could see if anyone came to attack us. In less than 5 minutes, Logan was completely limp, snoring loudly. 

But I wasn't tired.

I hadn't slept in over 3 weeks, but it wasn't my fault. It was like something was bothering me. Yet I couldn't put my mind on it. So many things in my fucked up life happened that it literally could be anything. 

I got up and rested Logan's head gently on the pole. If I wasn't gonna sleep, I had to do something. 

My eyes scanned the area for anything interesting; nothing but fallen concrete, seemingly endless rusty railroads and an old corpse in the back. Next to the corpse was a rotting hamburger, reeking to high heaven and covered in mold and ants and flies.

Hope I ruined your lunch.

I explored the railroad, considering had nothing to lose. I sat on it and pretended to be in those old movies where the protagonist was tied to a railroad and a train was coming towards them. I cried and screamed for help, laughing occasionally at the thought of a "worried" demon attending to me, when we would both know that they only came to attend to any money I had left in my pockets before death. 

Suddenly I'm pushed right off the rails, and before I could cuss off the person who did it, a train whizzed past me.

"The fuck were you thinking? You coulda got killed!" Logan asked.

"I really wouldn't mind that." I said.

He dusted himself off and smiled. "Now I know you're nothing without me." 

"Bitch please, I lived 1200 years without you...survived I should say."

"Don't worry, 2 more hours and we're finally outta here."