City That Never Sleeps

The Pineapple Incident

"There are a few stories that I'm going to tell you guys that won't end happily. But really, that's just a part of life. This is one of those stories."

"I want to let you both know though, no matter what happens in these stories, we all got through it." I paused making sure Anaïs and Renée didn't have anything to add. "That being said . . .

"It was another night we spent in the bar together."

I sat in a chair next to Ted as we all swapped stories of what happened during the week, finally glad it was Friday. I was just getting into how Terri pissed off my boss today when Carl came around with six shots of something.

"On the house!" He said, putting down the tray. We all looked at him in disbelief. "It's my own concoction, I call it the Red Dragon." A chorus of "wow"s and "thanks Carl"s filled the table as he went back behind the bar counter.

"We're not really doing shots are we?" Ted asked the group.

"No." "No." "Absolutely not." "I really hope not." We all said at the same time.

"Ugh, these look kinda like blood!" Lily said in disgust.

"You have to wonder what's in there to get it to look like that." I frowned. "The closest I've seen to look that much like blood is when I was in my school's production of Carrie. We had to change it after opening night though because some parents complained." I finished while I took another drink of my beer.

"Lori, as interesting as that bloody story is." Marshall began, laughing at his pun. "I know that you've all dismissed this theory before, but is there any chance that Carl is a vampire?" He asked seriously. We all protested his "theory" but he went on. "No think about it guys. He always wears black, we never see him in the daylight, only after dark."

"Oh my god," Robin interjected. "That does describe a vampire or, you know, a bartender." We laughed at her joke before she continued. "Oh look at the time, I should go get dressed."

"Where you going, buddy? Hot date?" Ted asked her.

"I'll say, she's going out with a billionaire." Lily teased.

"Yeah, that reminds me, Robin, when you're out with him ask him how selfish could he be to keep all that money to himself for me?" I asked her, sipping more of my beer.

At my response, Robin gave me a "please don't get political with me right now" look. "Lily I told you not to call him that! He's not a billionaire. He's a hundred millionaire. Why do people always round up?"

"So where is Thurston Howell taking you?" Ted asked another question before drinking.

"Charity dinner."

"Yeah, $2000 a plate," Lily added.

"Literally no one needs that much money still."

"1500. Stop rounding up and please stop beating down on the guy." She looked at her watch again. "I'm gonna be late. You guys have fun." Picking up her coat she said goodbye to us. As we all bid her goodbye my phone started ringing again. Taking it out of my purse I noticed it was from my mom. Again.

"I'm not picking it up." I declared to the group. "This is getting out of hand, it's the third time today!"

"Yes, Lori that's the spirit!" Barney slapped the table for dramatic effect. "You can't pick up the phone again because if you do," He got closer to my face. "You're telling them you're not ready to be on your own."

"Get away from my face, Barney."

We all turned our attention to Ted. In these past few weeks, as I came to know the group more, it became very clear to me that Ted is madly in love with Robin, which sucked a little for me. I grew a small crush on him since I met him and now I just feel stupid for my pinning over him.