𝐬.𝐩. 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

it's the dead of night. (and im tired of being alive.)

cordelia goode

request: Can you please do one where the reader is contemplating suicide, (feeling so empty and hollow) and Cordelia (her good friend) talks her out of it? Thank you

trigger warnings for suicide and depression.

• • •

this wasn't your first time feeling anything this heavy, and you doubt it would be your last.

cordelia had known about your past struggles with depression. she'd helped you through it plenty of times, always offering you a kind hand. you were more than grateful for her.

but lately your mental health had slowly been slipping downhill. the path of recovery was nowhere near linear, but you'd never expected it to be this hard. and you felt guilty for feeling this way. nothing was particularly wrong in your life, but there was still this deep rooted sadness that never seemed to go away. it remained there no matter what you did.

right now, in this moment, seemed to be worse than the other days prior. you'd already given each of the girls an item of yours that you valued. none of them with the exception of cordelia thought anything of it. it was simply an act of kindness to the others.

but cordelia... cordelia frowned and pushed her gift back towards you, saying that it didn't feel right.

she walked off with anxiety coursing through her body.

it was night time. and you were tired.

tired of feeling so empty.

tired of trying to fill a void in your body, in your soul, that was endless.

so you sat against the wall on the cold, white tiled floor of your bathroom, door locked and unable to be opened. the familiar orange prescription bottle of antidepressants rest between your fingertips.

you were so numb you couldn't even cry. everything that was happening now was a result of what you thought to be your own failure.

but you had no control over your illness. you knew that. cordelia knew it as well.

as much as you wanted control over your over your emotions, you didn't have that. and you were sick of fighting it.

sick of being in and out of therapy.

sick of switching medications because they either didn't work or made you feel worse than before.

the shakiness of your hands made it difficult for you to properly pour the container of pills in your hand. some of the pills bounced, scattering all over the floor as they missed your hand.

you missed the soft knock on the door, only finding your movements coming to a sharp halt when a pair hands snatched the bottle from your grip. cordelia threw the bottle across the tiny room, her sole focus on making sure you were safe.

"not now, not ever."

"cordelia!" you yelled her name, earning a very noticeable flinch. but she composed herself quickly, bringing you in her embrace.

"i'm here. i'm sorry you're feeling this way, but i promise this isn't the answer."

"you don't understand-"

"oh, but i do." her voice came as a whisper and you looked at her, confusion written all over your face.

"but you....i don't-"

you couldn't imagine someone as brave - someone as bright as cordelia goode ever feeling like the only option left was suicide.

"i didn't let it become who i was. i wouldn't allow myself to let that happen. and i'll be honest it may not ever go away, so i'll save you the 'it's going to be okay' bullshit because sometimes it won't be okay. that's how life works."

she tightened her grip around you, "what i can tell you is that there will be so many more good days that outweigh the bad ones. just as long as you let them. im not saying it's easy because it never is, but i'd like to help you learn how to try and truly live a little - if you'd let me?"

you searched her eyes, desperately trying to find any sign of a lie. but cordelia's eyes only held truth in what she was saying.

no reply came from your mouth, not even the shake of the head. but when you moved closer into her hold, your face on her chest, cordelia knew that was your version of saying yes.

• • •

lol ik i just got done writing
this super serious prompt but,,,
i published a new collection of one
shots that are all nsfw based.
check that out if you want!