MILK

two

I was woken up by the stench and kicking of Calum's horrible feet, they dug into my cheek as I squirmed about. As we had been top and tailing all night and his legs were longer than my bed, they made a home on my face.

I pushed his feet off, picking myself up onto my elbows. He was fast asleep, an empty plastic bowl in his grasp. After he threw up on me, I made him sit on a chair and watch TV while I cleaned the bed, sheets, changed and got everyone to leave the party, I didn't want him escaping and heading downstairs for another dare. It had already cost me a duvet and bed sheet. 

He twisted about, covering his eyes with his hands and yawning. I smiled at the sleepy Calum in front of me, he was so cute when he was tired. And hungover. 

"Good morning sunshine, how's your head?" I laughed.

"Not good. I don't remember a thing from last night." He groaned, picking himself up and falling back.

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach, "You don't remember one thing you did last night?"

"Well...I remember chugging down milk. But that's it." 

I bit my lip, getting out of bed and walking around the room. He didn't remember anything he had said to me, not that I'd expect him to, he was so drunk I'm surprised he even remembered the milk dare. His eyes followed me across the room, his smile on his face.

"Was I meant to have remembered something?" He asked.

"No..it's fine. It's just something you were talking about to me, it doesn't matter." I mumbled.

He shrugged, picking himself up and heading out of the door. I followed behind him, making sure he looked okay as my parents were probably downstairs. Lucky for me no one had made a mess at the party and I only had to clean up a bit before my parents came home. They were always out on business trips and dinner dates. It wasn't unusual for me to have parties.

"Calum! How are you son?" My dad asked, patting Calum's back and smiling at him.

"Not good. My head hurts." He mumbled, sitting up on a stool and lying his head on the cold kitchen surface.

"You know Calum, just because you're 18, doesn't mean you need to get drunk." My mum laughed.

"I know Mrs.Morris, I just, I'm young and free."

"Do you want some milk?" Dad asked, heading to the fridge.

I have never seen Calum shake his head so fast. I laughed a little, sitting next to him and rubbing his back, he was in a bad way.

"Do you want me to drive you home Calum, honey?" My mum asked.

"No, it's okay mum. I'll walk him home. He needs the fresh air." I laughed.

Mum nodded, carrying on with her coffee. I stared down at Calum. How could he not remember what had happened after the chugging dare? We had kissed and everything. I hated him being drunk, I hated the fact he couldn't remember what I could. And I definitely hated the fact that he messed with my heart.

I pulled him up, he was in clothes from the night before and I could easily just walk him to his house in my pyjamas.

He smiled at me as we walked slowly down our street.

"So, you really don't remember anything?" I asked, playing with my fingers.

"Nope..are you sure this isn't bothering you? You've brought it up twice now." He asked, looking down at me.

I shook my head, turning away from my fingers and looking up at him, "It's just...it's nothing."

"Tell me."

"Well, you were just talking about how you loved me and we kissed a little bit."

He stopped in his tracks, dropping his head a little. I knew he wouldn't take this well.

"You know I meant I love you in a best friend way right? Cos I love Emily. And the kiss, I was drunk, that's all." He whispered.

I nodded, holding back some tears, "Yeah, I understand."

We walked in awkward silence for a while. This kind of thing wasn't totally new to me. If he told me he loved me before, he would make sure to explain to me it was just in a best friend way. But he's confusing my heart and mind and I can't control myself around him.

"So, what are you thinking of doing today?" I smiled as we walked to his door.

"I was thinking of heading to Emily's. You could come if you wanted.." He smiled back.

"No, it's okay. Hang out with her by yourselves - I'd just be a third wheel anyway." 

We walked up to his door, smiling at the ground. The awkwardness seemed to have disappeared a little and we were back to our normal, best-friend ways.

He hugged me, his warm embrace causing me to shiver. I didn't want him to let go. I wanted to stay like this forever. But he pulled away, quickly and easily.

"I'll call you later yeah?" He smiled, turning the door knob on his door.

I nodded, looking away from his eyes. I'm glad he didn't see my smile fade as I walked away, because it was obvious and it showed my hurt, but I should be used to it by now. This was a regular thing for me.

I always think of you before I fall asleep. The words you said, the way you looked. The things we laughed about, the silent moments we shared. And when I dream, I'll dream of you. Because it's about you, it's always about you.