Just Perfectly Messy

high school crushes

After getting home from school I ignored all my responsibilities of my adult college life and kind of just sat in my room for an hour looking up relatable posts on tumblr, yet not finding a single one that specifically verified that a girl who liked three different guys, wrote them love letters, labeled the envelopes, and then got surprised when her best friends boyfriend decided to do a nice deed for once in his life and actually mailed out all three. When I couldn't find one damn post that was even similar to that scenario, I decided to log out of life and just lie in bed.
As I was contemplating my life, I began to miss my daily coffee and donut at Rebel Donut. I completely stayed away from Rebel Donut for the last few days, but I'm sure you already know why. I couldn't go in and run into Harry. The embarrassment would have killed me into a billion little pieces! So instead, I found another coffee shop... a very tasteless coffee shop with crappy decor and even worse tasting pastries; I had become accustomed to my daily coffee and donut at Rebel Donut. And now that I hadn't gone for a long time, I was beginning to feel a bit of a shock in my lifestyle. Rebel Donut was like my cocaine. They provided the goods for me, and I helped keep them in business. We worked well together, and when I hadn't gone by their place and started going to another place, I felt like I was betraying the relationship we had. I was betraying my provider... I was buying lousy cocaine and pretending it was good. I was cheating.

I needed my donut and coffee. I needed my special cocaine. I needed to grow some balls and just go to the freaking shop and get my goods. Otherwise I'd die of regret instead of embarrassment.

Rebel Donut: 1. Embarrassment by letter: 0

...

-Harry's pov

I hadn't seen her in days. Not at least since the last time I actually talked to her. I was beginning to wonder if I scared her off, or if she just lost all interest in me. Did I come off too strong? Did she think I was too confident? I hope I didn't. It took a lot of courage to walk up to her that morning and talk to her. She was so.. what's the word for it... ah, perfect. She was so perfect which scared me a bit, as I was this guy who was far from perfection. I wonder if she saw all the flaws I saw in myself?

I wasn't quite sure, but she hadn't come into Rebel Donut in so long. She was here every day, and now she just hadn't shown up at all... I waited, for hours on end to see if she would come in, but she didn't. Not at all. I'm not a stalker, if that's what you're thinking. I am not, not at all. I just happen to come in a lot and observe what's going on around me. And if she was someone I observed more out of everything else, sue me.

I look down at my watch and see it's a quarter to 5. Rebel Donut didn't close until 8, so I thought I'd just wait here for a bit more. Maybe she would come in later on this evening.

I took her letter out of my book bag and re read it over again. She wrote like a poet. She wrote with so much heart and depth... it was beautiful. I'm not going to lie and say that I knew she even liked me in the first place, because I could have sworn she had no idea I even existed to be brutally honest. She never talked to me or said hello to me... she never even looked my way. But the day I received this letter was the day I was reassured that maybe I had a chance. Maybe I could get her to look at me and talk to me like the way she says she does in her letter. Maybe, in some sort of weird world... maybe I even had a chance with her.

I had always hoped that she and I could have gotten together in high school. But the chances of that were zero to none. She never even knew I existed back then... even if I was a popular kid, she never looked my way. Which is why I always wanted to be partnered up in class with her for projects just so I could talk to her. She was always so quiet; so reserved. But when I could get her to laugh, man, her laugh. It was a sound that still lingers in my mind. Her laugh sounded like pure happiness. When she laughed, my life seemed to align, and I knew everything was going to be okay. I loved making her laugh.