Just Perfectly Messy

monday mornings and a bit of coffee

Monday. My favorite day of the week. The day of new beginnings and school. Ah, the smell of adults with many regret and tears, my favorite scent.

I, myself, will never understand why God created the Monday, but I'm sure it was purely a humorous day for Him. I think the creation of the Monday is even in the bible. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I recall reading, "And on the first day, He created the Monday. And He laughed because His children would forever endure and cry about this day." Yeah, I think that's how it reads in the bible. I just love Monday's. *violently rolls my eyes*

The cafeteria is filling up with other college students, so I throw my headphones in my ears and press shuffle. Paramores "Now" begins to play, and I could already feel myself being pumped up.

I grab my coffee from the table I'm sitting at and throw on my Batman backpack. There are chairs outside of my English class that no one hardly ever sits at, so I decided to go there and wait for class to begin. It was a pretty secluded place, and being as my middle name was "secluded" I really liked sitting here.

As class time got closer, I felt nervous, and excited, and riled up all at once. Could be because I was getting my grade back for a big paper, or because I was nervous as balls to see Ashton for the first time since Michael sent those letters out.

I mean, I had no reason to be nervous, right? I mean, Connor never received his letter. Maybe Ashton hasn't received his either. Maybe I'm just overreacting. Maybe I'm just setting myself up to be so freaking nervous. Yeah, I probably was.

Tyler Josephs voice is now booming through my headphones, and I become a bit more relaxed. Twenty One Pilots always made me relaxed. They were my go-to band to listen to when I was taking tests. They made me feel more relaxed and carefree. I wasn't as nervous anymore, bless their souls.

I see some of my fellow English students heading into class, so I turn down my music a bit and grab my things. I see no sign of Ashton and that makes me feel a little less nervous. Maybe he just wasn't going to show up for class today. Maybe he got sick over the weekend or something. Maybe I was wishing sickness onto Ashton. What was wrong with me??

When I walk into class, I see everyone taking their seats. My eyes immediately go to Ashton's seat and see him writing in his notebook, headphones in, not paying much attention to his surroundings.

I look between Ashton and my seat and I now realize that I need to pass him to get to my seat. I need to physically walk past Ashton to get to my seat. There's no other way to get to my favorite seat without passing him. Why did I choose to sit by him this semester? Oh my God, why am I making things so awkward?!

I stand in my spot for a moment contemplating giving up my seat for the rest of the semester and just picking another seat to sit at, but that's my favorite place to sit. It's far away from Shuli (my dumb English teacher), but close enough so I can see the board without having to squint, or use my glasses. Damnit! The choices! What am I going to do?

I decide on just walking past him. He has his headphones in, and he's paying attention to his writing anyway. If I walk past quickly, I can just swoop by him without being seen. I can be ninja. I can do this! I get the courage to just walk past him and do my thing until Shuli walks in half a second later.

"Good morning class," she greets, rolling her bag right behind her. Ashton's eyes leave his book for a second to look at Shuli. When he sees her, he closes his book and pulls his headphones out.

I finally grow the balls and just walk past Ashton to get to my seat. My head is held high and I'm walking with confidence. When I walk past Ashton, I get a whiff of his cologne. That mother trucker smelt like an angel. An angel who was hand made by God to place on this earth with that heavenly scent. God may have done wrong by creating Monday's, but He certainly did right by creating this man.