Just Perfectly Messy

taking a jump

-Connor's pov

My thoughts of her have consumed me since we were in the 5th grade. My older brother had told me that I was 10 and didn't know a thing about girls. But I knew her. I knew her better than I knew myself, and I took that as a sign that maybe I liked my best friend more than I thought.

I had confirmed my own thoughts about her when we were in the 7th grade and seeing her smile when I gave her my pudding was my own personal piece of heaven. I remember packing pudding every other day specifically for her; my parents had begun to think that pudding was my favorite dessert, but it wasn't. I hated pudding, but she didn't. I only pretended to love it for the sake of seeing her smile.

By the time high school had begun for the both of us, I had found myself feeling a feeling that I couldn't explain. She was my best friend, but I saw her as someone much more than just that. By the time we were sophomores, I found out that my heart beat would quicken just at the sight of her and my stomach would be flowing with little dragons when she said my name. Her eyes always put me in a daze and I failed English the semester before just so she could tutor me one-on-one.

When we were in our final year of high school, I knew she was the only girl I could look at and get a tingle up my spine. That was around the same time she had begun to call me her brother, and my hope for ever telling her how I felt had been thrown out the window. I then began to take girls out on dates, but they never gave me the same thrill as when she and I would just be at my house, in our pj's, watching movies and just being with one another. Even the simplest of things with her made my heart flutter. I was whipped over my best friend and I could never tell her so, otherwise our friendship would be flushed down the toilet in a flash. So I hid my feelings for her, no matter how hard it was.

Ali and I were the go-to best friends. Everyone always said it was impossible to have a best friend of the opposite sex and not eventually fall in love with them, and boy were they right. Once we both began college courses, I realized that I was in love with my best friend. We acted like a couple as it was, but she always treated me the way she treated other guys she wasn't interested in, and it hurt. It hurt like a bitch.

Then one day, while I was lying down making a new Playlist for her and I to listen to, my roommate, Liam, came and threw a piece of mail my way. Addressed to me, from Ali. I had thought it was all wrong, and maybe it was a prank... but it wasn't.

She liked me... and I liked her... and I was going to ask her out on a proper date. The date I had planned for us the other day turned out to be a fail, and I was reluctant to ask her out... but I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that was telling me that I should follow through and do it. I should ask her out.

So I was going to.

I feel like maybe I'm rushing things and I shouldn't be planning anything with her, but I know how she feels for me now, and I will make her feel like the princess she is. I also know that she's my best friend in the entire world and dooming myself by going on a proper date with her may or may not ruin our relationship, but if I don't take a jump and just pull a small risk, I'll never know if maybe this whole friendship of ours can actually go to another level.

...

"Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali. Wake uuup!" I groan, jumping on her bed.

"Connor, it's not 1pm yet. I can't be awake right now." I look at her tired face and my heart sighs in content.

I look at the clock on her bed side table, it reads 12:05. I can't wait for nearly an hour for her to wake up!

"Ali, pleaaaase! The suns awake, so you need to be awake. I need you to get up so we can do something!"