Losing my religion

As a Kid

Right before I start as the writer of this fanfic I just want to say that I am trying to express myself through words. I'm trying my best. If you like someone don't beat yourself up for it you can do it because fuck we're all living once your teen life's a one time experience. Say it you can do it. I believe in your fucking gorgeous ass and I have faith in you.

I've always used art as a form of expression. To escape reality. Like some sort of a place for me and my thoughts. I can do whatever I want, be whoever I want to be. I like it a lot it fills me with comfort and good vibes. It's called a sketch book.

As  a kid I was always this weird kid, I don't know I'm just different I guess. I felt it myself though. I never understood people wanting to be trendy, I'm not saying that is the reason of my alien soul but a trend starts because someone special decides to share they're unique ideas. You don't need technique to be an artist (though it is important) to be honest all you need is open mindness , creativity and expressing yourself through writing , art , lyrics , expressing yourself through how you present yourself , i dont know I guess it can be anything you create to calm your soul.

Fuck I went out of point again. i was talking about me being a kid. Anyway back to my point. Ok so I was always this alien out of conservative parents and such a closeminded town. I was bullied at a young age for being me. I didn't really care though. I had my brother, Mikey. He actually understood me. He wasn't really like me but we liked similar things such as Star Wars and video games. I mean my brother could have never said a word but I'd feel protected.

Anyway we grew older my brother is younger than me so we had to separate from each other. Once again I was bullied again (I found my clique eventually) but this time I had no shield. I didn't really care in a way , I mean words hurt more than actions but what these people don't seem to understand is that everyone whos  different will eventually become something special in the future. I don't know but that's how I felt  as a child. As if someone some Elton John is going to take my hand, drive me in a 70s corvette and arrive in a galaxy far far away from here with other aliens to join. Imagine how that would be like if that were true. Like you'd turn into your authentic self there if no one were to judge you. I always wanted to run away to a place of that sort. I wanted to become something in the world.

There were other aliens I guess I was distant and shy. This boy Frank I found him special at the time I dont know. He wasn't afraid of being himself i'll talk about that later though. Again sorry for going out of point but talking about that boy gets my heart all fuzzy and warm. 

I loved David Bowie as a kid. My grandmother got me into him. My grandmother was quite important in my life and was the person to realize my love for art and music. Anyway there's something about Bowie which is special. He implanted a controversial idea in society called being yourself. He wasn't ashamed of himself. People called him slurs and other hurtful comments but that didn't stop him. He was a gender bender, he questioned his sexuality, gender and also gave many people confidence  to be themselves and feel good about it. At the time I took up that idea, music was my protection and also gave me hope that someday something special will happen. 

I think I'm talking too much.

- Gerard Way