Time to Shine

Chapter 2- Interrogated by Hobbit-y Hobbits

May 5 2014 to me

9:35 ish in the PM I think

Feeling a large foot prod my back, I start with a cry of pain and feel a bit groggy with a massive headache. “Oww…what’s the big ide-- wait a flippin minute Bigfoot!” Not yet opening my eyes I freak out. My back was kicked, my back with no backpack on it!! 

I jump up swaying on my feet a bit. Slowly peeling my brown river grit filled eyes open, I see a hazy mix of green and a pack of kids. What? Who lets their kids run around in the wild without supervision?

My memories instantly start to come back, head pounding harder with each temporal lobe assault. They return with a vengeance, as if my not remembering gives them the biggest insult. Collapsing to the ground, I start to hyperventilate. I feel a tiny hand on my shoulder and a mumble of reassurance, aww!!! what a cute kid trying to comfort me, taking a deep breath I turn around to thank the chump. Staring me straight in the face is a grown man of 40 with a height of 3 feet!! Spinning around once I’m on my feet I begin to recognize my surroundings. Rolling hills-check, giant ass Party Tree-double check, little people with hairy big feet-check check, tiny round doors, gardens, and the sound of tinkling water. 

“Holy Shit! I’m in the Shire!” I exclaim in disbelief. Hearing a sound of shock to my left followed by one of disapproval to my right. “I do believe that was a tad bit improper for a woman to say, though I have no idea of the meaning it did indeed sound vulgar,” said a male hobbit to my right, the others agreeing with a “humph”.

“Huh? I mean yes, it was, I do apologize,” I say sincerely though utterly dazed and confused at my musings, “umm sorry for crashing your snazzy party and all, but may I ask where my backpack is?” I ask while describing it.

The male hobbit nods and shuffles to a table where tiny half-pints of ale are laid out. Thanking him profusely he introduces himself as, “Baggins. Bilbo Baggins. May I inquire who you are? You appear to be quite lost and if I may say, a bit not from these parts,” he says a bit sheepishly. Oh My Gods!! He is soo cute!! Little button nose, curly bronze hair, and a jazzy outfit with acorn buttons!! He backs up a few feet, I realize I was staring at him for the past 5 minutes. 

The party continues on behind him as if finding a giant female human thrust in the middle of Hobbiton is a daily thing.

Still trying to come to terms with being in freaking Middle Earth, I sort of daze off and grab a few cups of ale and down them. Reminding myself that this happens in all the fanfics and nothing but a few half pints can cure. My gaze snaps back to Bilbo or as I call him Billy-Bob, he doesn’t take to it. “So Billy-Bob, *cue stern gaze*, umm Bilbo, have you seen the old bag of bones Gandalf?” I ask him looking for any hint of smoke or fireworks.

“I’m terribly sorry, who?” Bilbo makes any apology-question so cute!! Biting my lip, a must when I think, I figure since he has no idea who G-dog is he hasn’t met him yet, and he does look a tad bit like Martin Freeman in the Hobbit movie, so Alex, I take Hobbit adventure for 10,000!

Smiling to myself whilst giggling like crazy because the idea of being in this world before the Company is together is so wild that I decide to join by any means necessary. After all, it would be the story of a lifetime!

“Oh never you mind master hobbit! All in good time! By the way what’s the occasion?” I jerk my thumb towards the party. “One of the Longfoots’s daughter’s has married a nice hobbit lad from Bree,” he answers, then whispers, “He works at the Prancing Pony Inn and seems to have taken a liking to travelers of all sorts. I’d like to travel some day, before old age gets to my bones, perhaps in a few years.” He admits.

Bursting with news to scream, “BILBO! OMG! BILLY BOB YOU ARE GOING TO TRAVEL WITH THE FREAKING LINE OF DURIN AND AWESOME CUDDLY, STRONG, BEARDED MOTORCYCLE DWARVES! AND WE ARE GOING ON A FREAKING ADVENTURE! BUT YOU KINDA HAVE TO FACE A DRAGON BUT YOU WILL BE BRILLO-PADS AND KICK ASS!”

Instead I just nod and muse my thoughts before saying sagely, “Fate always gives us chances in life for adventure, it’d be best to try them all out before time decides to do it for you.”

Nodding his head in agreement he excuses himself then goes off to mingle and I check my bag out and find all things accounted for, except cell service, I had to try. Walking around Hobbiton on roaming, climbing hills for signal was a bad idea. I ended up tripping over a cow pie and rolling down a hill smacking into a fence. Groaning, I get up and dust off my jeans. My attire wasn’t in vogue with the hobbits, okay not at all. My getup of black jeans, leather jacket with a black hoodie, grey long sleeve and converse is so not a beautiful hobbit dress and ribbons in the curly hair. My hair was a rat’s nest, after running away from a serial cannibal killer dude named Peter it actually looked a lot better. Pulling stray weeds and twigs from my black hair I realized my clothes were dry and looked practically new! Thanks timey-wimey peeps!

Remembering how worried Sean was, I start to wish that he knew I was okay and he would be so jealous of me right now! Not watching where I was going, I smack right into a hobbit! I mean my height is that of 5’4 and man, hobbits are such wee little things that he fell right over! Letting out a small “oof” I quickly grabbed his hand and yanked him up, a bit too much as he let out a yelp. Apologizing and making wild gestures I squint and recognize the acorn buttons belonging to none other than Billy Bob! 

“Billy Bob!” I exclaim loudly earning a cute glare and a smile to soften it, “What brings you to these parts?”

“The wedding celebration has ended and I was on my way home, then I ran into you, pun intended.” He grins.

“Bilbo I had no idea you were a comedian, I have some jokes for you!! Though a bit raunchy, its so hils! Dane Cook would blush!!” I say proudly, Bilbo just stares at me with a what-the-heck-have-you-been-drinking face.

Changing the subject with a question of how far the Green Dragon is, Bilbo kindly informs me that it is overflowing with the Longfoot clan and invites me to use his guest room, as we are now friends. Agreeing quickly and naming all the action movies we would watch I realize that I might never go home. Bilbo seeing my despairing look cheers me up by saying we arrived and if I would like some tea and a slice of lemon cake. Tossing on my happy food face he shows me the room, which has a warmth that my apartment never had. I instantly cheer up, unpack and find a spare set of clothes in my backpack. A pair of insulated sweats, a black windbreaker and undies, thank gods for that. 

Giving a great big sigh, I jump off the wee hobbit-sized bed and head toward the delicious smell of food. Looking around I see a table piled high with books and maps of all kinds. Boy, Bilbo is sure going to be in for a surprise later. I stop to stare at the mirror above the mantle, my bronze skin is marred by a faint scar across my eyebrow ending by my ear, steeling myself to the painful memory of its making. Flashes of a dark room, a hand gripping a jagged piece of mirror, an evil grin filled with malice, the screams of my mother begging my father to leave me alone, to take her, seeing her eyes glaze over and close finally in peace, free of the violent pain assaulting her broken limbs. Blinking away tears, I see Bilbo’s reflection next to mine. Giving a comforting pat on the back, he doesn’t pry or ask questions, smiling he leads me to the dinning room. A nice oak table situated next to a roaring fire, I take in the smells of lemon, sugar, mint, and feel renewed and welcomed. I have found a truly great friend in Bilbo Baggins and right then I promise my life to the Gods that I will protect him by any means and make sure he comes back home.

After eating my fill of the lovely cake and mint tea, we say good night and Bilbo declares, “a new friendship means a big first breakfast!” He closes the door to which his room, I enter mine. Getting comfy under the covers, I think of the past few hours, which feel more like seconds to me. Deciding that the best thing to do is not cry and not to show weakness, just like I’ve always done, to just survive and take it one day at a time. Glancing out the circular window, I see the same star as the one on Earth when I left, it gives me a feeling of comfort like that of a friend. Tucking the question about the origins of the star away for Bilbo tomorrow, I drift off and dream a dreamless sleep.