✔Invisible Friendzone | BTS Seokjin

•Out Of Control•

★JAE POV★

I felt the aching and burning feeling go down my throat as my eyes went red, the darkness soon consuming me.

I hated this feeling, the feeling of not being in control of my own body. I was afraid, I was scared, but most of all, I was afraid of what would happen to her. She was my light, she was my life, and now she was the mother of our future child.

I felt a weird sensation running through my fingers, my mind continuing to wander through the darkness the red tint had created. I felt the pulsating of a heartbeat through my fingers, the smooth skin of the woman I loved between my hands, and the sound of her breathing becoming hitched making my mind go wild.

It was a bad dream right?

It had to be!

The voice of someone else soon escaped my lips, her hands and nails digging into my skin.

"Stop it!" I seemed to yell into deaf ears, the sudden sound of a loud crash and a blood boiling yell making my skin crawl.

"Please, leave Jae alone!" I heard her yell.

"Hani, I'm sorry," I attempted to croak, my feet taking me somewhere unknown, the sudden pressure of a body against my leg making me beg it was all a lie.

But I knew better than to be hopeful.

~

I remembered the sound of sirens, my body waking me up from the daze I was in, Jin helping me up and off my bed as I sluggishly looked over at Hani, her body now on a stretcher and the tears and pleads that escaped her simply made my heart rip in two.

I looked down at the floor of the apartment as we walked out, blood trailing from the restroom out, but other than that, everything was spotless.

He had done it again.

He had covered up for my own neglect, he had covered up the rampage and destruction I had created.

Before I had a second to say anything, we had arrived at the hospital, the cries that came from Hani's room making it impossible for me to even walk in.

I stood silent, tears running down my face as I heard her yell out for the baby that would never come.

For the life I had taken.

I knew what I had done, and I didn't deserve to even be there.

That's when it started, the fighting.

I could still hear her yelling every afternoon when I got home drunk, and her screams whenever I walked out to get even drunker. Sometimes Jin took me home, sometimes it was Namjoon, and other times I took a Taxi home.

But this time it was different.

"Jae, please stop!"

I remembered taking the longest swing of the wine bottle I had ever done, cleaning my mouth with my sleeve before sluggishly looking at her.

She was shaking, unsure whether to approach me or not.

"You're afraid o-of me," I said in a slur.

"N-no! I-I'm not!" she stuttered out.

I walked towards her, my hands going up to caress her face, but her eyes shut closed, one of her hands going up as if to block her face, and the other going to touch her stomach.

My heart shattered.

I had done that to her.

I had made the women I loved afraid of me.

No, she wasn't afraid, she was terrified.

"Fine! Have it your way, I'm going!" I yelled, shutting the door behind me as I made my way to the farthest bar I knew. 

If I had gone close by either Jin or one of the guys would have gone to find me.

Hani had stopped going after me since we lost...our...

The glasses of whiskey did little to stop my tears, my eyes fixated on the endless nothing my blurry vision had created.

"You are a monster," a small voice echoed.

It was the same raspy voice from before, the voice of the monster that had possessed me before.

"I'm not," I mumbled in return, but it was too late by then.

I could feel that cool chill that always took over before it happened, that familiar smell of alcohol that came with the spirits that had drinking problems.

I felt his feelings fill my heart.

Rage, anger, resentment, guilt.

"Why me?" I asked under my breath.

"Why me again? Haven't you taken enough from me?"

~

Their faces.

My mouth dropped down as the red hue in my eyes flashed by and turned white, a sudden light making me grab the steering wheel of the car and attempt to move away.

I must have been drunk?

Was I in the wrong lane?

No, I was not.

To my surprise, as I swerved lanes I saw the speed limit.

Even if I was drunk out of my mind, I was in the correct lane and driving at the correct speed limit.

The rain, however, made it so hard to see, but for a split second, I saw their faces.

It was a man and a woman.

I couldn't even yell as their car collided headfirst into mine, the force making me spin out of control and get thrown into a ditch like area.

The pain had been quick, the rain that poured mixing with my blood and the mud.

I couldn't even say anything, the white tint that usually lingered after having a spirit posses my body making it hard to see.

Pushing the door open, I let my eyes drift into unconsciousness before briefly opening them again at the sound of someone's familiar voice.

The last words I said becoming nothing in my brain.

"I'm sorry Hani...I'm sorry."

~♡~

🐨I'm a little late on updates but here is my vague excuse of an update after so long.

I really want to be able to finish this book so you guys can be happy about the ending!

Mama KoalaBeaw

~♔~