Against the Odds

Chapter 6: The Lodge

Vella had always kept fit, she never knew when she'd need her quick reaction time or her battle ready tactics. But in the mix of emotions that came with her exerting herself and the weight of all she'd been reminded of, she was winded. With her breath coming out in huffs along with the perspiration spotting her forehead, perhaps "winded" was an understatement.

A good Jedi learns to control their breathing, choosing to rely on the Force for strength rather than themselves.

Vella pinched her eyes shut as if that'd drown out the voice of her master as she'd heard her so long ago.

You'll learn in time, young one, the value of trusting in others, and the value of trusting in the Force.

Vella doubted that greatly, she'd had too much experience losing people she was close to. It was almost as if she had a blast radius surrounding her at all times and if anyone got close enough they'd die.

And the Force? The Force was what cursed her. Her connection to the Force is what got everyone around her wounded, or worse, killed. She pinched her eyes shut again, harder than before, her fist clenching tightly to her lightsaber, her lifeline. Well, what had once been her lifeline.

One line repeated in her head; Her master was wrong.

The air inside the Razor Crest was stale, almost suffocating, the space around her seemed to keep her entrapped. Hoping to rid herself of the feeling, she opened the ramp, letting in the frigid air. The cold oxygen filled her lungs, it was almost liberating, but the feeling remained, now being added to another worry that plagued her.

It was getting close to nightfall. The sun had set behind the tall snow capped mountains and the cold was getting more intense. She could feel the air chilling her skin. The child cooed and looked up at her, drawing her eyes to meet his. She could feel his worry through the Force and knew exactly what it was he was worried about.

"Yes," she said, "it is getting late."

He moved closer to the ramp, standing on the edge of it and she followed, sitting herself on the floor beside him. She rested her elbows on her knees and they took to staring at the door the Mandalorian had left from, both silently hoping he came back through it unharmed. Vella still felt out of sorts. Having to relive one of her darkest days. Her chest felt tight and the feeling of being confined, trapped, on edge, was becoming overwhelming. Her heart rate spiked but she reminded herself those were just memories. They were the past and she had to focus on the future. She wondered if she could.

Her eyes glanced towards the child as he cooed up at her. He'd live many long years, and she sensed a wide knowledge of the Force within him even with his seeming young age. He was the future. A future she'd protect with everything she had.

"Can you feel it?" She asked, drawing the baby's large eyes towards her. "The Force is... troubled." Vella paused, allowing herself a moment to think and maybe even find something closer to the truth. "Or perhaps it's me, perhaps I'm the one that's troubled," she allowed. "Or perhaps it's a warning that something bad is going to happen." Vella tipped her head towards the exit and the child seemed to understand her point.

She remembered the face of her master after she'd been searching the Force to understand a situation better or how to go about a battle. The look of knowing and assurance that flashed across the woman's features so confidently. Vella didn't think she'd have that assurance, at least not for a while.

The baby cooed at her, babbling about something and she nodded. Their bond was weak, Vella hadn't strengthened it, practically refusing to. After all, they were going to be separated soon. What good would a bond with him do if he'd soon be lost to her forever? So as much as the child reached out to her, she closed herself off.