Never Sent (Completed)

As I seek

One of the greatest wonders we could have for free is to love. But as we risk our heart's out for the sake of one, can we remember to leave some for ourselves? Seek and you shall find.

*

Hopes, dreams, hallucinations,
Turned to sobs, regrets and exhaustion.

I roam my eyes,
There's my witness.
The world so vast,
Saw the drip drop of my tears up until the very last.

Some time in my life where tears had been my food day and night,
I wish I saw the light.
The light before I laid a hand and proclaimed amor,
I should have never gave more.

But as I count my footsteps again,
I just can't help but remember all those things I've lost just to be with you,
How I offered what I could bargain.

Although before I met you,
I knew.
That you'd soon rent a piece of me,
I smiled for that's all I could be.

Your stare that drown me at such a sight,
Those eyes became my only reason to fight.
Fight to revive a love that not's sure,
If I'll fail,
I think I could never again find a cure.

I carried on and included you on my list,
You said I was yours even if I sometimes punch you with my weak little fist.
I thought things were already fine for I have gave what I should,
Yet soon I knew those weren't enough,
I'll fight for you more, everything I could.

But it's amazing to know that once I was a fool to make you matter,
Now you're my life's disaster.
Though I haven't regret a thing for being with you,
It has taught me well and I became this strong too.

I had lost and gained friends when I chose you,
I even did forgot what was happiness,
For I knew my only happiness was having you.

As I seek,
May I find.
How I was weak,
How I messed up my mind.

One day when I'll see your face,
Never will I trace.
Our memories and all the gold,
Which once I had and now I could never again hold.

As I seek may I find,
I should have ran away,
Never should I have left my life behind.
Leave my soul as I chase another,
I hadn't known this chapter was written for me to suffer.

May I seek life and risk when I am truly ready,
May I settle for the righr one, who's deserving and more steady.

As I seek may I learn,
All our memories before,
Now I quietly burn.

As I seek may I never be weak,
This is my heart,
Saying everything it could speak.

Now as I seek may I smile,
For I haven't had it for real,
It has been a while.

As I seek may I find,
As I leave my memories of you behind.

(10/10/14 10:23 pm)