Never Sent (Completed)

To the one I had but never knew

To: Pmac (MTM)

Within a seconds rule, you invaded my thoughts, my heart; everything that I have, now held you captive as an existing memory. And you dwelt in there for a while, until a day came you were all I had- but you never even knew.

You never had the slightest clue that we could be. If you were only a few steps closer, a few breaths nearer and a few chances nigh- what could have been happened to be what is. For I was only a girl with a face, nothing more. I didn't stood out when I walk in a sea of people. I was solely... me and you were a myriad of things that I'm not. You smile a lot, you stood out, you were cunning, bold, ravishing, all the more handsome- ethereal. You were the most beautiful thing I have seen in ages.

We've had a moment once and as what fate has etched into its pages, it remained as one, a fleeting, passing memoir of what could have been's. We shared the same proximity. We were from the same school. We even stayed in the same dormitory. We took the same course. We had all the chances in the world, but these chances never clung to us, it didn't brought us together, it only existed to fuel my fantasies and then break it then and there, crush my hopes down to the abyss of oblivion and darkness.

We knew each other through a friend and there, we only knew our soul's existence, and nonetheless, there was nothing more.

But there was this one time where I thought we could be more than just people who "knew" each other. They took a photograph of us; as you stretched out your arm and rested them on my shoulder and I wryly knowing what to do for I was nervous that you were within a breadth of finger, smiled and took the spur of the moment dear.

Ever since that time, I always had you. I carried you in my thoughts, enskied and made distinct by that certain memory we once crossed our gazes with. You were held by my eyes in a different light. You became more than what I thought you would. You engulfed my system farther en route.

I never knew one could make me feel this way, let alone you; whom I only had a photograph with, whom I only held gazes with, whom I almost bump with in school, whom I only shared the same air with, whom I've only seen for a moment yet never left, whom I've seen smiling even because of the slightest things, whom I've seen playing basketball until midnight instead of going to a party, whom I've known to wait for me outside the girls bathroom just because a friend of mine told you that we should have a photograph together, whom I've seen throwing brief glances at me (maybe) whenever I pass by and whom I had but never knew.

I had you in my thoughts, in my dreams, in my words. You were scribbled in my pages like fate imprinted on a life. You were the dry ink I have written in my veins. You became the things I never thought would be, but is.

You are mine whenever I close my eyes to sleep. You are mine when I write you in my pages. You are mine in my mind but never in yours. You mattered. I woke and I was struck. That everytime I had you was the time that I don't.

I had all else, except you. I had dreams, wishes, fantasies, thoughts, our children's names but never you and the wholeness of you. You were a sight but never a chance. You were only for my eyes and it stayed like that.

I was only me and I had nothing else to offer. But I still had you, it was just that... you never knew.