The Man In A Fedora

Chapter 10: Out Of Touch

04/21/2019

It's almost been a month since I last saw him.
I didn't know which one's worse, him erasing my memory or
him letting me remember everything and leaving me all alone afterwards.
Memories don't even matter unless you remember.
But once you get to remember; they play over and over in your head till they slowly kill you from inside.
How painful it is, to think no more memories will be made.
How desperate you are, when you open your eyes to emptiness.
Emptiness,all I could feel in my soul was emptiness.
And a fear this empty place will never be filled by him again.
I wish he could steal this memory from me, instead of leaving me with such sorrow.
I could feel his aura from miles away somedays but there were no signs of him, ever since he disappeared.
No idea where he was, if he's walking on the same earth with me, if he was hanging out with some other people at some other time.
My deep thoughts got interrupted with a ringing sound. No it wasn't the door, just the phone. A glimpse of hope filled my mind just for a second but it all faded away when I saw the name Norman on screen.

"Hi, Norman."

"Hi, Stella. I, I called you to ask if you're okay."

"In a proffessional way, or a friendly way? Cause the answer may change due to it."

"You're my patient so.."

"Alright, no worries, no hallucinations. My brain works pretty normal. But if you ask me how I feel, I don't, don't really feel good."

"Oh, you can tell me more about it."

"Do you always call your patients for this stuff or you.."

"Okay, you caught me. I was just wondering how you're doing."

"I feel like losing a friend."

"Things like this happen a lot, you lose and make new friends. It is a cycle.
But you understand who really stays by yourside."

"So you basically admitted you wanna be my new friend."

"Yeah,ahahah, I kinda did. I guess."

"We had our ups and downs but I accept your friendship."

"You still don't really sound impressed."

"What if that person was the last person I'd want to lose. "

"Just go talk to her. Maby it's just a misunderstanding."

"I wish it was that easy. And it's a 'him' by the way."

"Oh, okay."

"I appreciate your call and your advices Norman. But I guess situation is a little  complicated."

"I got it. You still can call me whenever you need. I'm just one call away."

"I will, bye."

I closed it before hearing what he had to say. Although I didn't want to do anything that could offend him, I wasn't in the mood to talk.
I was afraid he might have developed some kind of crush for me.
Would be super inappropriate when there was someone else keeping my mind busy.
It was so hard to deal with all these mystery alone but I knew I should always keep this as a secret. Not even Alison was allowed to know it, not when the situation is so fragile like that.
I was planning to invite her to tell my feelings for the fedora guy she knows, but nothing more than that. The fedora guy that I know was only meant to be known by me.

"Where are you, you like seeing me suffer?" I shouted, looking at the ceiling, as if he was going to hear me.

"No, not at all." a voice echoed, right from the back.