The Saint Jones [Completed]

chapter 53: Caveman Alert

Talking about the probability of not seeing Julian is too much for me, so for my own good, I desperately tried to change the subject because I could feel my mood shifting to something less welcoming and Zeke does not need to see that part of me, so I have asked him about him and how his little docking to Antigua was.

Zeke, I have to precise, is a man with so much imagination and prestige, instead of sleeping in a normal room with a bed and all, he decided as he said, to marked the moment by sleeping on an hammock. I laughed so hard because he told me how disappointed and painful it was afterwards, and he admitted that he would never do this again, making me promise that I should not as well.

"You were alone?" I ask as I take a sup of water.

"No, of course not, Célia was with me," he says proudly, the corner of his lips lifting up as he looks down and plays with the edge of the table.

"Célia? Who is Célia?" Deep down I know who Célia is but I am just afraid it is not her, who knows what happened between him and this beautiful woman with curly hair.

"Célia is my curly haired baby, a divinity," he says, smiling generously.

I am happy to see someone else happy like that. Through his eyes, I can see the appreciation he has for this woman and this was the case since the first time he saw her, at the Goldies night. I would love to met her, she looks friendly and very open from what I have seen from afar.

"Why are you not with her?" I ask, smiling at him.

"She is dinning with her friends and family, can't get between them," he says, now playing with his knuckles.

I hum and take another sup of the fresh water, ice cube making contact with my front teeth so easily, chills scurry through me. Even if Zeke is sitting in front of me and even if we are talking about something that has nothing to do with Julian, the urge to keep thinking about him is unfortunately still in my mind, pushing me to the rim.

"Yesterday she told me she's afraid of commitment, she cooled me down pretty quickly because I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend but her statement was a bit... cold to me, as if she knew I was going to ask her," he chuckles harshly at the end.

I can see the pain on his face, this is obvious that he had fallen deep for this woman. Just like you. Love is torture and Zeke and I are probably feeling the same thing, but our situations are just different.

"Who is not afraid of commitment?" I ask him.

"I'm not, because I know what I want," he replies and I acknowledge his answer.

"Are you... afraid of commitment?" He reverses the question.

"Yes... I think so," I murmur and look down again.

Commitment, a great word with such minimal meanings. Without this simple word, relationships would not make it and that is the scary part. This is insane how a word can drive someone nuts, and this is insane how a simple word coming out of nowhere can break people and couples into millions of pieces.

For years I have been scared of it because my ex partner was not committed to what we were sharing, now I am in the present and another page turned and fell on him, Julian, and I can say that I am hundred times much more scared of the word. But I do not want to venture in this part of my brain, this part is too dark for me.

"Anyway..." He clears his throat. "We have to met, him and I," he says, my head lift up quickly and I am met with a sudden beaming face... again.

"Why?" I ask jestingly.