The Saint Jones [Completed]

chapter 36: All Antigua

Cher

Sunday is here before I even realize it. Outside my room, touching the closed window, the sun is strong and colourful, bringing different columns of colours into the room, like a mountain of rainbows, created by the lightning and reflections.

The weather is beautiful and the air is changing. I can smell the earth, my nose can even detect the smell of cow, although I do not know if there is a cow here on this cruise or around the area, but what I am sure of, is that we are definitely docking in the Caribbean.

It is so exciting that my hand is squeezing my glass water bottle, hoping not to break it. But what is more exciting about today is adventuring through the Caribbean with Julian by my side. It would still have been fun if I was alone, I can picture me walking down the road, hands glued on my bag, phone in hand, ready to snap a perfect picture or by using the panorama mode but I will not be alone and I enjoy that.

I can not believe that it is already the middle of the trip, time goes by so fast. I remember entering the Saint Jones, leaving my dad and Chenle sad. I remember my first food, made by a man-cook, his talent is still crazy to me, this man was born with a hand ready to mix the ingredients. But what I think will always stays with me is meeting him, this mysterious person that he is.

Before I went to sleep yesterday, I thought about him a lot. Maybe it was my imagination or my hormones but my heart was racing abundantly and my breath was unusual, weak. I think... no, I am sure that I like him a little more than the others days. Before I closed my eyes last night, the image of him kissing me was playing, like a video put on replay.

Honestly, I do not know what I want, a part of me really want to let him know about my feelings, to tell him that we have to talk about what is going on, because I do not do casual kissing or things like that, I have norms and values that my parents taught me, can not break them, they will be disappointed.

I sent a message to Chenle this morning, telling her that I need to speak to her, expecting to lighten up my chest, but unfortunately, she saw it but pretended she did not, this is the typical Chenle. Once again, we scarcely fight but sometimes it happens that her emotions takes the lead. I wanted to tell her about Julian, knowing she would help but apparently I am on my own.

Sometimes a woman or a person in general needs someone they can trust and rest in, someone who is willing to listen whenever the person is sad, excited or confuse. A friend. But I do not have friends in my life, I used to, what a time it was.

Maybe I have Zeke, I think we can consider ourselves friends even if it is difficult to adapt but still, he seems to be a friend but I do not think this is the right time to unveil my feelings to him. I trust him, crazily, but I also do trust myself, maybe I can do it alone, maybe I can deal with him alone and make it all clear, maybe today will be the perfect day to polish the plate in front of us.

The thought of being with him today is exciting. Moreover, being with him outside, around people that we do not know, not around his co-workers, free. It will be magical, I hope.

I opted for something cool and easy for today. A white strapless top and blue denim shorts and white sneakers. My hair, the usual, falling  over my ears, reaching just below my jaw, straight. My lips also the same thing, red, pure red, vivid red. The perfect look.

Before coming on this trip, I learned everything I needed to know about cruise trips. Dad helped me a lot, but on the other side, I did my research on the internet and in my mom's notebooks, knowing that she wrote a lot about her job. Therefore, I know that when the director of the cruise will make the announcement, passengers will be able to exit the cruise if they wish. Yes, if they wish. We do not have to go ashore, it is our choice. Fair enough.