The Saint Jones [Completed]

chapter 55: Goodnight Beauty

Sether

"What you wanna do in the future?"

We're glued to each other, her back to me, my arm wrapped firmly around her waist, her body pressed against mine. The room is practically dark, only a small lamp on the nightstand behind me is illuminating the surrounding in a sensual way.

"Professionally or personally?" She asks evenly.

"Both," I reply.

We're aware that it's already 3 in the morning and that mostly everybody on the cruise are deeply in their dreams, but here we are, trying to learn about each other, hugging tightly... Our first night sleeping together on the cruise.

"Um, professionally, I want to be a translator or anything that has something to do with language. And in my personal life, I would like to buy my own house, and live by the beach. I would love to travel the world and met people from different cultures..."

She says, voice plain and monotone. I hum in her ears as a response. I can't stop the sniffing that I'm producing with my nose because damn, her hair smells so good, and it feels so nice to be that close to her, to feel her back twang whenever she speaks or yawn.

"And you, what is your plans for the future?" She asks after a moment.

There are so many things I'd like to do in the future, I'd seriously like to get two normal eyes with the same colour. I don't think she needs to know, so I'm not going there, but I remember that my mom called me two days before the trip to Antigua and she told me that there could be another way to get rid of my disability.

I started to get tired of trying to find a way to cure my eyes when the last doctor I had had told me in the eyes that there were no remedy to stop or to change that, but the words of my mom had put a bit of hope into me. I look at the back of her head, knowing if I tell her, she'll be mad at me because she seems to be liking my eyes way too much.

But the problem is; I dont like them, I hate them. I've been through too much of things to be able to accept them, too much of bad things.

"Julian?" She whispers, I hiss in my breath as the word leaves her mouth, my head pulsating as I remember that I have to let her know soon about the name.

"Yeah... Hum, I don't know, I don't really think about my future," I mumble hardly.

This is so hard and too much for me. I mean, of course the possibilities that I open myself to her completely aren't a hundred percent genuine, I know the process will be hard. I would like to whisper delicately in her ear how much my life is a hell of a devilish plan put in a sack of dirt. I would like to whisper how much I want to run away, or how I keep thinking about the worse scenarios that I can put myself into. I'd like to let her know that the man she's dating have or had, a deep freaking depression. But all of these, I can't tell them to her, because firstly, it's stuck into my throat and secondly, my heart isn't ready for it, not now.

"Hum, what about marriage and children?" She asks out of nowhere.

My breath sink deeply, for a moment I though I was going to quell on my own saliva. My eyes close idiotically, I press my forehead against the back of her head to soothe myself. Sometimes, some subjects shouldn't be said in front of me, and this subject is something I originally tend to avert.

"I don't know either," I mumble with difficulty. Suddenly my jaw is tight and rigid, hurting me.

"I do not think about children either," she says and turns around, facing me now.

My eyes meanders along her face and damn it, she's perfect. The traits of her face are incredibly well drawn, from her smooth forehead to her luscious lips. But above all of these beauties, there's one thing that is driving me insane, I can't keep on coping with her wearing makeup at night. Of course I accept that she wears them during the day because she looks like someone who loves makeup but at night, like hey, we're 3 in the morning, who goes to sleep with stacks of makeup on the face?