The Saint Jones [Completed]

chapter 72: Round & Round

My eyes open so suddenly and settle on a white comforter. For a moment, the thought of me being in paradise hit me hard on the head, but when I feel the pain rising up my sides to my neck it is enough to tell me that I am far from paradise.

I move, well, try to, but this familiar weight on my waist compels me to stay put. Then gradually, I remember what happened, since I came here until I closed my eyes.

We are still on the roof top of the cruise, and the blue sky above me is upholding my statement. I remember we were kissing and it ended up in a nutty situation. I feel like I have broken a rule, the rule of not being naked on an open area, and here I am, naked, but graciously covered with a sultry comforter.

How could we have ended up here when I was practical on fire, when he was annoying me to death? This is crazy but I cannot be mad at him, even if he lied to me, in the face, I cannot find this bravery to be mad at him. Perhaps I am too weak and too stupid, whatever I am, he has my heart now.

He has my heart, how romantic and poetic. It looks like his mistakes are nothing much to me, I understand him, I tried to put myself in his place last night, and I comprehend his choice. But, what scares me is, is he going to understand me when he will discover that the person he thinks I am is far from being real?

Who knows if he has the same perceivable mind as me, he can be a hard person with feelings that are probably as hard as rocks. What will happen if he pushes me away again when he will see the truth, that the woman he is sharing part of his life with is nothing but a bald with broken skin and broken insides?

I try again and turn on my back, his arm is firmly holding me against him under the warmth of the comforter. I take this moment to admire this man, his skin is shining and bronzing under the faint rays of sunshine which is falling on us. He looks peaceful and happy when he sleeps, with his mouth half open, his tongue touching his front teeth. He looks like a child with no problems in his life, he looks splendid.

Knowing that his real name is Sether does not affect me at all, it should though, I know it should have affected me because I have been calling him Julian for the past month, but it does not. And after all, I think Sether fits him better than Julian. But maybe it did not affect me much because his name is  Julian, he just does not like this second name, which is peculiar, he gave me the name, but anyway, I feel nothing close to hate towards him, just a bit of disappointment.

Suddenly something rise up my throat, the same disgusting liquid that has been haunting me for years. My tremulous hand clasp on my mouth as I try to find somewhere where I will be able to let it out. Panic climbs up my throat easily. I stand up, and by doing this, I have pushed his arm away quiet violently, which compels him to wake up in shock and incomprehensibility.

"Cher," he says but his voice is just a sound behind other disturbing noises.

I steer towards all the sides possible to find the best way where I can throw up without doing it on someone down there or on the deck. I find a corner which gives directly on the ocean, I bend forward and in a bliss, the dirty and sick liquid escapes my mouth and join the ocean and its wrathful, morning waves.

My stomach and my throat hurts which resolves to the fact that the more you vomit, the more your insides gets old and fragile, which is exactly my case.

I put a hand on my lower belly and the other one on the wall next to me. When suddenly, something warm and smooth envelopes around me. Arms are holding me tightly and when I look up, I find Julian– no, Sether standing there close behind me, with the comforter around us both, and I realise our nakedness, but it does not matter, he matters.

"You're okay? Do you need something, tell me," he says in my ears, he is worried.

"I need to sit down."