The Saint Jones [Completed]

chapter 78: I'm Guilty

I take a sit on the white sheet and rest my heavy head against the metal wall behind me, adding another layer of coldness in my body.

The weather hasn't changed yet, it's still gloomy and morose and definitely rainy. From where I am, I can clearly see the port of Rio de Janeiro, but I can't detect where the status of Christ the redeemer is due to the rugged fog that are forming around. 

I sigh and take my phone out of my pocket, a shiver run through me as the wind blows stronger. I should've taken a cap with me, it would have spare my hair to freeze and a mental breakdown. Jesus, I've never experienced such weather, yes I've seen violent rain and violent waves but this, this is something else and the forecast on my phone isn't saying much than a little depression along the coast of Rio de Janeiro.

I unlock my phone screen and swipe directly in my contacts, then I type her name and when it appears, it gives me the choice to call or not. I take a moment to think about it, but then, without thinking twice, I press and wait for the person to take the phone on the other side.

"Hello? Sether?" Her voice, so low and sweet, so fresh and cute. I missed it.

"Hi," I reply, my voice stuck in my throat.

This feeling of shyness is here in the nub of my stomach, it's uncomfortable. It's silly I know, no one should be shy when talking to their loved ones but, it happens that sometimes, time makes that even those who were closed to you in the past, can become as unknown as strangers.

"Oh baby, how are you? I can't believe you're calling me," she squeals and laughs moderately.

"I'm fine, what about you, are you okay?"

"Jesus, yes I am okay, I'm chillin!" She says and I can't stop myself from laughing.

"Since when do you speak like this? Do you even know what it means?"

"Of course, it means being cool Seth, I'm a cool person, ya!" I frown at the screen and bite my lip, keeping another laughter in.

"Mom–..."

"The first rule to no seas un nerd is, to always be cool and chill," she says proudly. I can see her, lifting a fist in the air.

No seas un nerd, not be a nerdy, is a term that has been created by Alejandro, my cousin, the son of my mother's sister. He used to say this all the time whenever we decided to go to Windsor to visit them. But one day we stopped going there, because he was starting to go in the wrong direction. He started to consume some bad substances. He was dumb.

"Mom, where are you right now?"

"Oh, Cassy invited me yesterday, we're chilling together, girls thing."

I sigh deeply and rub my eyebrows. Cassy is her sister, aka my aunt. I'm not against them seeing each other, after all they are sisters, but what I'm not okay with is the fact that my mother is in the same house with the guy who almost tried to hurt her years ago, and just the thought of it is enough to make me go crazy.

"I thought you stopped going there!"

"Oh baby, it's okay, Alejandro is not here, he's on a trip, dealing with his addiction," she says, reassuring me.

I nod to myself and play with the end of my jacket. Being far away from her is always hard, I mean she's practically a stranger to me now because we barely talk, I barely call her and yet, if someone will ask me what's the reason behind that, I'll say there's no reason because she did nothing more than help me and love me. She's the perfect mom, I'm just the wrong and worst son.

"How have you been? You know mama keeps sending you emails but you never replied," she says.

"I haven't check my emails for a while now." But I saw them, I saw each one of her 'hello baby' or her 'happy birthday baby' and her 'I love you' as well.