The Fiche List

Chapter Two

2. Spend the day blind

"Hey, hey, hey, watch your step just there. No, there's a door-" bang "-too late, you found it."

"Ow," I complained as I rubbed my sore forehead. "You're not very good at this."

"I am too, you just won't listen to me. Too impatient. There's no point rushing around when you can't see anything."

"He's got a point, Fiche. I've not ran into anything yet."

I huffed. "That's because he's taking better care of you."

"I can't let my girlfriend walk into walls and posts and doors and cupboards under my watch, now, can I."

"Oh, but me, on the other hand, no, it's fine for me to do all those things. I don't think I like depending on you anymore."
"Too bad. Who you gonna get to do my job? Jason?" He laughed. "We both know he'd be worse than me. And besides, we have to make the film interesting. It's no fun if you don't crash into a few things every now and then."

"Every now and then?" I laughed dryly. "That's the understatement of the year."

"I'll take that as a compliment, considering it's only January the second."

"Whatever," I muttered as I knocked into a rubbish bin. "Could you please be more focused on where I'm walking though? I never thought simply walking out of the house and down the street could be so dangerous."

"Oh pfft. Dangerous my ass. We're only going to get ice cream, although watching you two eat one will probably top anything else you'll do today."

"Yeah, well, you enjoy it, because tomorrow Lea and I will have all the laughs as we watch you take a ballet lesson with us. You in pink tights and a tutu is all that's getting me through today." I started laughing as the image filled my head.

Lea had obviously just taken a sip of water, for I heard her choke and spit it all back out like a whale as she burst into laughter. "Oh my god!"

Sean gasped and started complaining, and we started laughing harder.
"Did you just spit all over Sean?" I managed to get out.

"Yes, she did," he said, not at all impressed.

"Did you get it on camera?"

A hand clipped the back of my head.

"Hey!" I tried to find him to shove him, but my flailing arms only connected with air.

"Yes, I got it on camera, only the camera is now wet."

"It's ok, though, right?" Lea asked, concerned.

"Mhm."
"That's good."

"Fiche! Stop!"
I halted. "What?"

A hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me to the left. "You were about to walk off the curb."
I narrowed my eyes underneath the blindfold. "Do ya think you could'a warned me a little earlier, then?"

"I got you. Relax, Fiche."

I huffed. "Easy for you to say. You're not relying on a madman."

"Did you really just call the guy who's stopping you from killing yourself a madman? You're not very smart, Fiche. Now I'm even less inclined to stop you from crashing into things."

"Ok, I'm sorry. I take it back. You're a fou fou qui est prise très mauvais de prendre soin de moi."

"What did you just say?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," I lilted.

"You do realise I got that on film. I can just translate it later."
"Yeah, but later."