Given Black Roses

13

It's been a few weeks and I feel more and more like shit. I'm in my office sitting with the bin next to me glued to my damn hip. Did I mention I am gaining weight? If you haven't guessed by now I am pregnant. A week ago I went to the drug store and bought a pregnancy test, it was so damn embarrassing. I damn near fainted when I saw positive on the stick. What really made me say get this damn test was my belly was getting unusually big. I know I have been eating a lot but there was no way I was gaining that much weight that quickly. So yeah heart attack I had and still having peeing on that stick. One thing I haven't done is move out, Stephanie is still trying to be my friend and if I must be admit I do miss my friend.

There's knocks on the door I yell come in and speak of the devil Stephanie walks in with a basket full of goodies, "Okay all is forgiven."

I reach for the basket. And places it on my desk and I rip open the plastic. She laughs, "So how are you and the baby?"

"I'm fine, baby is okay I guess. It has me eating everything all day." I said, "Truth is I don't think I'm going to keep this baby."

"Does the father know? I wish you would have told me you was going to lose your virginity I could have given you some pointers and condoms."

I don't invite how to answer that I was raped by our boys and he doesn't know I'm pregnant, well I don't think he's knows. I have been avoiding him except even he randomly pops up and thankfully whenever he does pop up I'm in my office sitting down so he doesn't sss my belly. One part of me wants to get rid of this baby because how it was conceived but the other part feels guilty if I do go through with it. It's not the baby's fault. I'm still deciding and I am confused.

"Malita? Malita are you okay?" She was asking and I wasn't hearing.

I snap out my thoughts, "I'm okay, just zoned out in my thoughts for a moment. I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. So did you see Joe's new assistant? It's a guy, scrawning white guy."

"No and I don't care. Did you ever tell him how you feel? You seemed to be more into him than he's into you and he should know that."

"We talked and we are friends. I think it was the sex that was making me a little crazy, it's just so damn good. He leaves your legs weakened girl, best sex I ever had in my life." She says giving me flashbacks to that night- how I was in pain, barely being able to walk and my crotch sore the next day

"I'll talk to you later Steph." I kick her out, "Thanks for the basket."

I have to pee so I get up and walk to the bathroom which is down the hall. I see Joe standing by his door talking to Cassandra. Hopefully he doesn't notice me, I try to tiptoe like it was gonna make a difference- it didn't. Cassandra sees me and waves that made Joe turn and I turn as quickly as I can so he won't see me. This sucks because I have to pee badly I should get to this bathroom. Maybe I could hold it for a few. I get back to my office and before I can sit down, my bladder just flows down and I couldn't stop it.

"Oh no." I begin sobbing uncontrollably

It stops my legs are wet and my floor has a puddle of pee.

I held my stomach, the door opens, "Hey are you... okay? What happened?"

"I was on my way to the bathroom when I saw you in the hall, stupid Cassandra waved at me and me trying to avoid you seeing me I come back to my office and well you see.. I pissed myself. So much for avoiding you." I cry some more.

"Wait. Why are you avoiding me?" He asks Then noticed my belly, "Ohhh, you're? You're pregnant?"

"Yes, I am about 8 weeks."

He looks a little excited oddly he grins, "Let me take carter off you." He takes his jacket off, puts on the arm of the chair. "We need to take your pants off." He locks the door.

He touches me and I have a panic attack, "Don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me!" I scream scared.

He backs up throwing hoods hands up, "Okay Sorry."

"I'll do it myself." I take my pants and underwear off. He hand me his jacket to put on. "I'll clean this and I'll buy you something you can wear."

After he mop my floor he left to get me something to wear. I lock the door behind him and just stand by the chair. I didn't want to sit my butt on this cold chair. Thankfully I keep wipe's in my purse so I wipe my legs the best I can and my kat. 30 minutes he comes back, knocks on The door. I open the door for him and put in the dress he bought. "So you're pregnant? Oh my god. I want you to keep it. I want this baby."

"I don't know if I want this child Joe."

"Let's go to the doctors abs get an ultrasound then decide how about that?"

"Okay."

To be continued