Runaway Solute

mad

At about 12 mom and Janie got home. Brandon was with them. I was sitting on the couch eating cereal and watching TV.

"How did you get that?" Janie asked.

"Dammit. This is the 3rd lock this month. Wouldn't he get tired of doing this by now?" My mom hissed going to there room.

"What happened?" Brandon asked.

"Last night both me and my dad got stoned. And so my mom put a lock on the refrigerator so we couldn't eat anything this morning." I answered.

"But how did he get it open?" Janie repeated.

"With a blow torch and lock cutters." I explained. "And as a warning. I don't know why. But dad's in a really really bad mood today." I warned.

"Probably cause you woke him up." Brandon implied.

"No. He was never this bad. Usually whenever he'd get woken up, he'd cuss once. And if he's hung over make jokes." I paused for a second. "But he cussed me out and was extremely pissed off."

"No. Fuck you. Fuck everyone. Fuck the world. Fuck life." We heard him. "No. If I tell you I want to be left alone for 5 fucking minutes then don't keep yelling at me. Wait for later." We couldn't hear mom as clear as dad. "Cause it was 20 years ago today I walked in as my brother kicked the stool and hung himself. So my mind is revisiting a bunch of trauma today."

He then came out and walked out the door. We had no words. Not even my mom knew he went through that. Shit... I felt my phone buzz. I looked down, it was Alex. I ran to my room.

"Hey Alex... I'm sorry for not telling you and lying. I was smoking pot last night, that's why I'm hungover. I would've called a lot sooner, but something happened." I apologized the second I picked up.

"It's okay. I just wanted to apologize for being rude this morning." He responded. "What happened?"

"Not really something I want to discuss right now. Especially over the phone." I sighed.

"Oh, okay. I understand." He assured.

"How are you doing so far?" I asked.

"Stressful. We took a break. And I gotta hide from my grandpa so he doesn't catch me smoking." He answered.

He hates that I smoke pot. And I hate that he smokes cigarettes. But I won't say anything.

"Well, just don't get in trouble." I insisted.

"Okay, mom." He joked. "Shit, I gotta go. Love you."

"Love you, bye." I then hung up. I then walked to Janie's room.

"Come in!" She said. I walked in.

"You wanted to talk to me last night?" I reminded. She looked at Brandon who was sitting next to her on the bed.

"I'll call you later babe." He said standing up and kissing her forehead. He then left. I sat next to her.

"What did you need to talk about?"

"I just wanted to tell you that you're really lucky to have someone like Alex. You're a really cute couple." She responded.

"Thanks. But I don't know if we are. I think I ruined it." I sighed.

"What do you mean?" She gasped.

"He's very extroverted, very social. I'm like dad. Extremely introverted. He loves being around people, I get terrified and panic when I'm in big crowds. He loves being on camera. I hate being on camera." I paused. "When you guys left I told him about that and how I feel like I'm holding him back from doing things. And said that we should break up. But he told me to stay. And that if he can't prove to me that I'm everything to him, then we'll breakup. Then after some crying we're back together."