Satanborn

What Even Is Love?

I woke up next to Jessie the next morning. When did I fall asleep? I got up and went to the bathroom to change and shower. When I came back out I saw Jessie waking up and realizing where she is. Then I saw her panic a little.

"Relax nothing happened after that kiss last night," I said drying my hair.

I noticed that Jessie was staring at me and I looked down to see what she was looking at.

"Uhm... you're naked," she said quietly.

I wasn't. I just wasn't wearing a shirt so you could see my stomach but I had my usual sports bra and my black jeans on.

"Ha, you think this is naked, just you wait," I said teasing her.

"I have to leave before my roommate realizes I'm not home," Jessie said suddenly getting up and making her way to the door.

"That's not a good idea, Judas is still here and if you walk out now it won't be fun. I recommend going when he leaves," I said stopping her.

"When does he leave?"

"Probably somewhere around 4 later," I said.

"I can't wait that long. Can you convince him to leave earlier?" She asked me batting her eyes jokingly.

"Fine," I said walking out.

"Aren't you going to put a shirt on?" Jessie asked before I left.

"Whatever you want... Angel," I said putting on a black t-shirt.

"I told you to stop calling me that."

"Not going to happen," I said opening the door and going to the kitchen.

Judas was sitting at the table having breakfast. He doesn't know how to cook so he basically just eats cereal unless I cook for him.

"So, where's your friend?" Judas asked me.

"She left earlier," I said grabbing a bowl, spoon, cereal, and milk.

"Walk of shame?" Judas asked laughing.

"Shame? Judas you underestimate me," I said trying to hide the fact that Jessie was still here.

"Yeah right," he said jokingly.

"I'm sorry, is someone jealous cause I've slept with more girls than him," I said teasingly.

"Hey, 52-54 isn't that much, you only have me by 2," Judas said starting to get angry.

"55," I corrected him.

"Whatever, so I was thinking we would head out at like 3 or 4 today," Judas said.

"Actually you mind going now by yourself, then we can explore a bit later," I said eating my cereal and trying to act natural.

"What? Did the human tire you out?" Judas asked playing around.

"Yeah, she caught me off guard," I said.

We both finished our food and I got up to put our dishes in the sink. I walked back to the table and sat back down across from Judas.

"That kiss last night was passionate. I've never seen you kiss a girl like that."

"Yeah, it was different for sure, there was a level of passion I have never really felt before," I said still trying my best to act natural. "When we broke the kiss I just wanted more, I didn't want to stop, I don't know what it is but she makes me feel different. Even if we have only known each other for 2 days. She makes me feel something that I've never felt before."

I realized I had lost myself in thought and had just said too much to Judas. I could tell he was slightly surprised by what I had said.

"You think it's love?" He asked staring right at me.

"I don't know, you know Demons and Devils don't really feel love, we feel lust at most. I have never felt it before so I don't know if I am feeling it now," I said still just spewing out my thoughts. I had these thoughts in the back of my mind for a long time but I never really took the time to admit it.

"Well, it sounds like you have a lot to figure out. I'm going to head out then, you take this time to rest. And think about what you just said too. Hope you feel better by the time I get back," Judas said patting my head and walking out of the apartment.

I stared at the door for a second after he had left, now I was completely lost in thought. Not about Jessie, but about Judas. I hated lying to him. We have known each other since we were kids. He was like a brother to me, and not telling him the truth about Jessie was killing me. I didn't notice Jessie standing next to me until I felt her put her hand on my shoulder.

"Did you mean what you said?" She asked me quietly.

"You were listening in?" I asked annoyed.

"Not really, I'm an angel, my job is to listen to people's prayers all day. Our hearing is exceptional," she said looking at me.

I sighed deeply.

"I did mean it, but I was also trying to get him out," I said looking at Jessie.

"Well, you should probably go before Judas comes back," I said getting up from the chair.

Jessie and I walked to the door and I opened it for her.

"Are we meeting at the bench again?" She asked before she walked away.

"Well, Judas now thinks we are probably dating so you can just come over whenever you want," I said.

We hugged and she walked away, I watched her walking away. Suddenly I saw her turn and full speed run to me, kiss my cheek then run away. I closed the door after she left. When I did I leaned against it and ran my hand through my hair.

"What the hell am I doing, I could have chosen anyone, why did I go and have these feelings for a fucking angel. What even are these feelings, my heart beats fast when I'm around her. When I am with her I feel like smiling all the time, I have felt lust before but this is different. I don't want to just have sex and leave Jessie. I want to kiss her more, I want to hold her all day and night. What is happening to me?"