Aberrant

Eight: Dex

"He was sick after the test so we had to send him home early," an Abnegation woman tells me and Mazie, her eyes not quite meeting ours. 

"Oh no!" says Mazie, "Poor River!"

"It happens," says the woman, trying to smile reassuringly, and then she walks away. 

"She could have told us that before, " I groan, "Now we'll be late catching the bus." Heather was busy working in the city and couldn't give us a lift back. 

"I'm sure there's a reason she didn't tell us before." says Mazie placidly as we go and join the other kids filing out. 

We get onto the bus just on time. There are no seats left but naturally, two people from Abnegation give up theirs for us. Mazie thanks them and we seat down. I block out Mazie's chatter to the other Amity kids and stare out of the window. My brain is still processing the new information that I'm Divergent. 

I watch as more people file onto the bus at the next stop and see the Abnegation people each give up their seats. Could I be like that? Could I put people before me in every decision I make? I already know the answer. My whole life I've never thought about anyone else aside from my family and only because they understood and cared for me. Being Abnegation means thinking about others all the time. I think it's obvious to everyone that I'm not made for that. 

An Erudite man comes onto the bus but there's no more Abnegation to give up their seats except for one small girl, who's sitting next to a window and looking out at it. The Erudite man spots her and barges pass the other Abnegation people, giving them a look of revulsion and disdain as he does. He stops in front of the girl, who looks up at him, nervous. Seeing his face, she jumps up instantly and goes to join the other Abnegation. The man makes a big show of wiping the seat and then sits down and gets his book out. 

It must be awful, I realise, to be treated like that every single day of you life. No one has any respect for the Abnegation, aside from perhaps the Amity, who appreciate their peaceful non-aggressive lifestyle. Everyone, even the Dauntless, see Abnegation as just people they can walk over. 

No. I can't live that kind of life. I won't. But then again, what other option do I have? To save and protect myself, I must condemn myself to a life of selflessness. 

The bus stops at Amity and we all get off. The others chat to each other about the test as we head towards our houses. 

"That dog was so scary!"

"Yeah but when I gave it the cheese, it turned into a real softie!" 

"It was so cute!"

 "Wait," I say, and to push away the morbid of thoughts of me being Divergent and dying, I decide to join in, "We're talking about the same dog right? The one that was dangerous?"

"Of course!" chirps Abigail. 

"And you fed it cheese?" I find this hilarious. 

"Yes," says Felix, as if this makes perfect sense, "What else were we supposed to do?"

"You could have killed it," I say. There's a stunned silence at this-the first thing we are taught in Amity is that violence is not the answer. 

"You...you killed  it?" Cayo stutters, shocked. I nod, finding their expressions funny. 

There's a pause and then their Amity training kicks in-not to have a disagreement with anyone. 

"Well that was one way of doing it I suppose."

"I mean, the dog was going to hurt you."

And then someone changes the conversation and they start to talk about music. I roll my eyes-it's useless trying to argue with this lot. They're agree with you no matter what, even if you said the sky was pink and that you had six legs. Trust me, I've tried.