Aberrant

Fifteen: Brooke

Amar finishes writing the list of names on the chalk board and moves out of the way, just as Plato drags a very dishevelled-looking April through the door at 8:01 exactly. Admittedly April is getting better at coming to the sessions on time, although it's probably only due to Plato. 

I scan the board looking for my name. I'm not up first, which is good, but I feel an indescribable sinking feeling inside me when I see the name of my opponent: Jo.  

As I glance in her direction, I find that I'm nervously rubbing my left wrist, which still hurts from the Dauntless tattoo I got yesterday. I doubt I'd be able to win against Jo. As she surveys the board, she begins doing some stretches, drawing my attention to all of the muscles in her body. She's strong, I know. But she might not be fast. Her fight against Edgar yesterday was too short for me to judge. 

"Alright," says Amar, "First up in the ring! Dex and Plato!" April stifles a yawn, quickly shoves a piece of toast she is still holding from breakfast into her mouth, swallows once and heads into the ring with Plato. I sit down with Isaac and Edgar, who are placing bets. 

"You may begin!" Amar says, as Plato and April eye one another. Plato looking dead serious, whilst April is smiling. 

"I'm sorry," Plato says softly. She just grins widely, and throws a punch at his face. 

With surprising speed, he ducks, grabs her from behind and gets her into an arm lock. She wriggles and tries to get free. 

I see him whisper something into her ear, and she scowls and says, loud enough for us all to hear, "No Plato. It's going to take more than this for me to give up."

Plato sighs and twists her round so that she's now facing him. Tightening his grip on her arms, he elbows her in the stomach and forces her onto the ground. He then begins to twist her arm. 

"Ow!" she says, "Fine! Plato! You win!" Plato releases her arm and offers her a hand up, which she refuses. 

She scowls at him, but then smiles and says "I'll get you next time." He grins back at her, clearly relieved that the fight was over so quickly and that she's not too mad at him. 

Two more fights until my one. As I watch the next pairing, Cassie and Phoebe, enter the ring, I try to run through everything that Isaac has taught me. My best shot, I know, is to get in first. 

I watch as Cassie and Phoebe circle each other, both punching clumsily, yet looking exhausted with the effort. The fight drags on for a few minutes before Cassie, whether by accident or on purpose, knees Phoebe in the nose. Phoebe concedes and Cassie walks out of the ring, seeming smug that she actually won something. 

One more fight to go. 

The next pairing is Isaac and Sam, of whom the latter looks terrified out of his wits. I see Sam pass his green glasses to Plato, before, whilst squinting, heads towards the ring. Isaac begins the fight by taunting Sam, before Amar finally has enough and snaps at Isaac to get on with it. Rather then choosing to end the fight quickly though, like he did yesterday, Isaac instead drags it out, letting Sam think that he actually stands a chance. Then, he catches Sam unawares, and forces him on the ground, painfully twisting his fingers until he submits. 

It's cruel. But this is Isaac's strategy. To make everyone terrified of him. And I can see by Sam's startled expression as he lies on the ground that he's succeeded. 

And then it's the fight I've been dreading. Me against Jo. 

As I stand up, wiping my sweaty palms along my the bottom of my t-shirt, I try and not look as scared as I'm feeling. I pass Isaac on the way to ring, and he grabs my arm, his nails digging into my skin. 

"Get in there first," he orders, his tone sounding weird with the high-pitched nature of his voice, "She's stronger and taller than you, but you might be quicker. Use that to your advantage." I nod, pretending that the idea hadn't even occurred to me. 

As I enter the ring, I stare up at Jo. She gives me a look of grim determination as she balls her fists. 

"Begin!" Amar's words ring in my ears as I throw a punch at Jo's stomach. 

Please be merciful. Make this quick. Please I think desperately in my head, as I try and dart round her. Though I know there's no point. Why should I be shown mercy? I, Brooke Kang the bully, who showed no mercy to Plato yesterday? 

Jo's punch hits me right in the head, sending me reeling. Isaac was wrong. I can't even use Jo's speed to my advantage. She's as fast as a whip. My vision starts to go blurry and dimly, I feel that Jo has swept my legs out from underneath me. 

From my position on the floor, I look up and see her shape towering over me, and I know that the final blow that's coming will knock me out for good. At least, I hope it will. 

"I give up," I gasp, my voice sounding weak and small even to my ears. Jo turns and walks out of the ring, without offering me a hand up. Still breathing heavily, I move onto all fours and carefully pull myself to my feet. 

As I hobble out of the ring towards Isaac and Edgar, I feel everyone's eyes burning into me, and I glance around the room, defiant. Despite the fact that my face is literally on fire from the humiliation I'm feeling, I've still got some pride left in me. Some look at me impassively, like Amar. Some even look as if they feel sorry for me. But then I see April in the corner of the room, and the smile on her face is almost feral. Tears threaten to spill down my face as I realise that April wanted to see me fail. She enjoyed watching me get beaten up. April Dexter Meadows. The girl I've always admired. 

But I pull myself together as I remind myself that being hated is part of being bully. And in this cruel society of Dauntless, I have to be a bully to survive. At least, that was what my original plan was. But now, looking around at all these triumphant faces, I'm not so sure. 

I sit down beside Isaac and Edgar. The former hisses at me, "More training. Tonight." I just nod mutely, too upset and exhausted to try speaking. 

Amar circles Jo's name on the board, and then says, "Next up! Edgar and Amy!"

Edgar rubs his hands together with glee, "The Stiff. This should be easy." And he saunters into the ring, where Amy awaits him, standing in quiet defiance. 

I force myself to watch the fight, to give myself something to concentrate on, but it's over almost as soon as it begins. Amy punches him once, and Edgar throws himself onto the floor, howling in pain. I guess there's no real bravery in being a bully. 

We stop for lunch, which mainly involves Isaac voicing his disapproval of both me and Edgar, before we're back for the afternoon session. Amar lets us work on our own techniques rather than teach us anything new and instead spends most of his time in his office, coming in occasionally to check up on us. 

 Glancing around the room, I see that Isaac's tactic in scaring the other Initiates is working. Phoebe stands in a corner with Jo, crying softly, while Jo switches in between comforting her and trying to teach her some punches. Sam, on the other hand, clearly shaken by his fight with Isaac, attacks his punching bag ferociously, and doesn't stop until his hands begin to bleed. 

Isaac and Edgar, however, look as calm as ever, chatting away casually, and only do any training whenever Amar enters the room. 

I focus on my own punching bag and try to work on what Isaac taught me. I don't care if I give anything away technique-wise. At the rate Isaac is training me, I know that I'll be far more advanced that I am now. 

Isaac rarely talks during the training sessions, and when he does, it's only to comment on what I'm doing or to teach me something new. His expression is always unfathomable when doing it, so I can never work out whether he enjoys teaching me or whether it's just something he feels I have to do. His blue eyes are always cold, and his smiles themselves are hardly warm, more like smirks. 

I rub the Dauntless tattoo on my wrist. I wish there was another way I could safely pass training and get into Dauntless, but it seems that my only option is to train with Isaac.