Aberrant

Nine: Brooke

I sit in a row of chairs in between an Erudite boy and an Abnegation girl. This is it. Today's the day of the Choosing Ceremony. The day where I will choose Dauntless and leave everything behind me. 

I look over to the Candor section where my father and Clara are already seated. My dad asked me continuously what I got in my Aptitude test, and I simply repeated over and over that the information was 'classified' and that I wasn't supposed to say. It wasn't exactly a lie. 

They will be hurt by my choosing Dauntless, I know, but it would be a lot worse for them if I chose Amity. And, of course, there's less chance of me being rejected. 

I feel butterflies in my stomach as Jeanine Matthews, mounts the stage to do a speech, but I remind myself that I am making the right choice. If I choose to stay in Candor, I will have written my own death sentence. 

"Welcome to the Choosing Ceremony," Jeanine Matthews begins. It's the Erudite's turn to host this year. The year after this will be Candor. I remember when I was younger that I used to love it when it was my dad's turn to speak. The memory makes me feel guilty but I try to brush it aside, "The importance of this moment cannot be understated..."

Jeanine Matthews talks about the significance of each choice, and then begins to read out the manifesto of each of the factions. With the reading out of Candor, Erudite and Amity, her tone is neutral, but when it comes to Abnegation, there's a slight hint of scorn. Most of the Erudite snigger, though the Erudite boy I'm sitting next to looks down on the floor in embarrassment and the Abnegation girl beside me takes deep breaths, as if to control her anger. 

And then Jeanine reads out the Dauntless manifesto, and there's one sentence that strikes me: "We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another".

I don't know if I believe in that. I have never stood up for a person in my life. I know if I was truly brave, then I would have stuck up for April Meadows rather than standing by and letting Isaac pick on her and her brother. 

Have I had moments of bravery? Am I brave enough for Dauntless? Me sneaking into the school library every morning, was that brave? It went against all judgement to go against my Candor ideals just to satisfy my curiosity and love of reading. 

I think I am more Erudite than Dauntless, but I know from the test that Dauntless is part of me, however hidden. And I must bring it out to survive and thrive in Dauntless. 

Jeanine Matthews begins to read out the names of the sixteen year olds. My heart beats faster as each name is called and it gets closer and closer to my name. All the choices are predictable. Amity choose Amity. Abnegation choose Abnegation. Dauntless choose Dauntless. Candor choose Candor. And Erudite choose Erudite. 

It's all the same-until the Erudite boy beside me is called that is. As he stands up and mounts the stage, I see how small he is, yet he holds himself with a quiet self-assurance. 

There's an expectant hush as he takes a new knife from Jeanine, but the hush turns into a gasp, as he doesn't head towards the Erudite bowl, but instead towards the Abnegation one. 

As the boy cuts his hand open with the knife and holds his bleeding hand over the Abnegation bowl, there are murmurs from the Erudites as they begin to move restlessly and glare at the Abnegation, who stare at their feet. 

Before, the blood falls into the bowl, however, the boy removes his hand and looks at the crowd. I see his face fall as he takes in the angry and aggressive Erudites and the shuffling Abnegations. I see his shoulders rise and fall as he takes in a shuddering breath, as if steeling himself for something. Then he turns around, and holds out his hand over a bowl.