Always been you//Jolex

Chapter 9

About 30 minutes later, Sadie is moved to the PICU. They don't usually let parents into the PICU, but technically we're doctors here and have to legal relation to Sadie. In other words, screw the rules. We have to wear gowns, masks and gloves to make sure we don't put her at risk for rejection or get her sick. Alex and I stay glued to her side. We're sitting on the couch in her room, Alex's arm thrown around me as I rest my head on his chest, waiting. She's going to be on a ventilator for at least the next 24 hours to let her body rest, but as soon as she's in the clear, we are going to talk to the social worker about adoption. I smile as I picture our lives a year or two from now; a big house with a big yard, Alex pushing Sadie on the swing as she shrieks each time her toes touch the sky, maybe even a baby of our own in my arms as I watch from the deck.
At one point, I have to go check on my post ops, and a few patients who I was scheduled to operate on today but ended up pushing.
The next day, we sit and wait, and at one point Mer comes in and brings us food.
At around 5, I hear her choking on the tube and I'm flooded with relief.
"She's breathing over the vent!"
Alex takes out the tube, and the sun is just starting to set when the last of the anesthesia wears off and I see her eyes flicker open. Alex and I both move to her bed side, proving Alex was watching her just as closely as I was.
"Hey, Sadie! How do you feel?" I say with a big smile.
"I feel like I can breathe again," She says, touching her chest.
"Me too," I say quietly so that I think no one can hear me. But Alex squeezes my hand, and I know he heard. I wonder if he felt the same way.
She looks great. She looks like she's regaining a bit of color, and she's smiling. I see more and more of me every time I look at her.
"Can we get you anything, Sadie?" Alex says.
"Maybe some water?" She says, and I hand her some.
She falls in and out of sleep for a few hours, and neither me or Alex leave her side. I hold her hand and Alex sits at the foot of the bed, soothing her.
She's laughing with Alex about a dream she has while she was under, but suddenly she goes quiet.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Alex asks.
"What will happen when I have to go back home? To my foster family? I don't want to never see you again."
I exchange a glance with Alex, not wanting to tell her anything about the potential adoption until we've at least spoken to Chelsea. Alex changes the subject.
"Hey, do you want to watch some TV?." He says, clicking it on with the remote. She nods, saddened by the unanswered question.
Alex wraps his arm around my shoulder, giving me a kiss on the cheek. His phone rings and it's a number I don't recognize, but he picks it up and starts talking.
"Hello, this is Alex Karev....Yes.....As soon as possible.....we're in the pediatric ICU with her right now, we'll be there soon. Thanks, bye." He hangs up and stands, waving in Andrew.
"Jo and I have a meeting, but Doctor DeLuca will keep you company until we get back, okay?"
"We do?" I say, and he nods with a crooked smile. I bend down to give Sadie a big hug and Alex strokes her hair gently with a smile as goodbye, and then he takes my hand and pulls me out the door, leading us down the hallway.
"What's happening?" I say, trying to keep up.
"We have a meeting with the social worker. About the adoption." He says, excitedly.
"What? Really? Oh my god, this is great!"
We approach a conference room. I stop outside the door, fixing my hair and straightening Alex's collar. I'm about to try and convince a stranger that we're Sadie's parents. We have to be. I take a breathe, give Alex a kiss on the cheek and smile.
"Okay, lets go."