Omegle: and other reasons i can no longer look at you eye to eye

The Ultimate Battle

You: hello there good sir/mam

Stranger: Hello there

Stranger: It is sir thank you very much

You: you're welcome

Stranger: Did you steal my cottage cheese?

You: I only took a swig

Stranger: You bastard, where did you put it

You: under the toilet seat

Stranger: It better be there, I've been looking for it for 27,283 hours

Stranger: It isn't there. Where the FUCK is it

You: if it's not then blame the toad

You: Jeffery has been eyeing up that cheese for the last month

You: sike it's in ma belly

Stranger: You son of a bitch

You: I didn't even take time to taste it I just swallowed it

You: whole

Stranger: Imma cut you open and take it back

You: Nah they already tried

Stranger: But I didn't. Get ready monkey boy I'm going in

You: I'm an elephant, not a monkey

You: also, you'll never take me alive

Stranger: That's why I'm taking you dead

You: *backflips off a lamp post and runs down the street*

You: NEVER

You: "yeet"

Stranger: *pulls out sniper* *Rolls a 20 and shoots* "direct hit!"

You: *stumbles and falls over a moose*

You: Nah bro I'm invisible

Stranger: *tosses a grenade* *rolled a 2 with the d20 "aw shit"

You: *grows a pair of bat wings and launches self through a window*

You: wEeEeEeeeeeee

You: "IM BATMAN"

Stranger: *Lying on the ground with 2 missing legs* I yell "First, take a big step back... and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! Now, I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, so whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

You: *Yells back from behind the dining room chair* TRY YOUR BEST, I HAVE THE POWERS OF A COCKROACH, NOTHING KILLS ME BITCH, FUCKING NOTHING

Stranger: Answers," I will tell your mom!"

You: "YOU MONSTER"