Strictly Inappropriate (RDJ FanFic)

Part 18 - The Revelation

I got all the Downey mess out of my head and focused on tonight's dinner at Malcolm's. I'm very interested to see what he has to tell me and also very eager to see what he's cooked for us. He's into cooking, he talks about his recipes and plates sometimes but I've never actually tried his food before. That's another thing to look forward to.

I got dressed nicely and drove to his apartment. It's not the first time I've been here. We've all visited each other's apartments after work for drinks or for actual work when we had group projects. When I'm outside his door he's already waiting for me with a bright smile and we share a hug before getting inside.

"I really hope this goes with whatever you've cooked" I say handing him the bottle of wine I picked for tonight.

"First of all, I'm no expert but I think it's great and second, you didn't have to bring anything" he says smiling as we walk to the kitchen.

"It's fine, I wanted to chip in somehow"

"Let me get your coat and we'll get started" he says nicely and I give him my coat.

He returns after a minute and pulls my chair for me on the dinning table. Everything is served except for the plates which Malcolm brings one by one after he pours wine into our glasses.

"Oh my God, it smells delicious" I say fascinated by the smell. Right when I see the plate I get fascinated by the appearance too.

"I hope it tastes as good as it smells" he replies when he's seated and we clink our glasses before taking the first bite.

"I never imagined you're so good at this, what is it exactly?" I mean what I said. What I'm tasting is delicious.

"It's lemon pepper chicken and I'm very happy you're enjoying it this much" he smiles softly.

The wine was just fine for the situation. The combination with the food was tasty, fact that helped us drink two glasses each. He didn't say anything g about the real reason he invited me over tonight but I didn't push him. It has to be something personal because he acted all shy about it. I actually found it cute seeing him like this. His childish smile and the way he nervously scratched his head when I mentioned it. We took a seat on his couch with our glasses and kept the conversation we had during dinner continue. Light music was in the background, just enough lighting was on, the usual atmosphere was going on between us and, as always, we were having fun together.

"I'm telling you, our dates have been the best ones I've had in a long time. Maybe the best ones I've ever had" he says smiling.

"You're exaggerating" I laugh.

"No, I'm not. I still laugh remembering the karaoke night, the pool night was also fun, the office party wasn't my ideal date but at least we enjoyed it and I'd say today is going pretty good as well" he states.

"It's going great, yes, but I'm sure you'd rather be spending your Saturday night elsewhere" I smile shaking my head.

"No, I really wouldn't. This is what I wanted to talk to you about, actually" he says calmly and clears his throat.

I leave my glass on the table in front of us and turn all my attention to him. He does seem a little nervous and tense but he also looks ready to confess something he's been holding inside.

"I know we went on these dates as friends and they weren't meant for anything more but I actually enjoyed them much more than I thought. We spent all this time the two of us and I realized how much I couldn't wait to see you again each day. I started having all these crazy ideas about us. I guess that what I'm trying to say is that if by any chance you had any thoughts about us, I'd love it if we could have a chance" he says sweetly and looks me in the eyes for a couple of seconds.

I don't know what to say so I don't reply immediately, which is probably the reason he broke the eye contact and cleared his throat again.

"I made this weird, didn't I?" he hides his face in his palms.

"I'm sorry, let's just forget about it, I'm probably confused" he continues rambling.

He's looking away and me not talking doesn't help the situation at all so I decide to do something. I place my hand on top of his on the couch that seems to surprise him and he gives me a concerned look.

"We shouldn't forget about this, I'm glad you talked to me" I say softly.

His expression changes immediately. He seems more relaxed and soft. His chest moves as he lets out a deep breath he was holding. We have the eye contact going on for more seconds this time.

"Am I crazy?" he asks with a voice that sounds more like a whisper. He's too lost in his thoughts to have a steady strong voice.

"No, you're not" I reply with a soft smile.

He smiles slightly as well and we spend the next few seconds in silence. We're looking at each other, both lost in our minds. Next thing I know he's leaned into me and his lips are on mine. It's a soft tender kiss that lasts for a couple of seconds before he breaks it. His hand is gently resting on my shoulder until he returns to his previous position.

"Did I take it too far? I'm really sorry if I did" he apologizes sounding worried.

If my face is really showing off my emotions then he must be looking at a very confused face because I don't even know what I'm feeling.

"No, it's not that. Sorry I'm not talking a lot, it's just that my heart is not in the right place right now. I don't even know how to react"

"Oh my God, please tell me you're not seeing anyone that I don't know about. I'd be such an idiot" he's started panicking about this.

"Don't worry, I'm not seeing anyone" I reassure him.

"I just need some time to think about this, it's all so sudden to me" I continue.

"Of course. I'm not expecting anything from you right now. I understand how surprised you're by this" he nods.

"It's getting a little late, I think I should be going" I clear my thoat.

What a ridiculous lie.

It's Suturday night and not even midnight.

Why do I have to be so socially awkward?

"Okay, I'll go get your coat" he smiles and stands up.

I wait for him by the door and he comes shyly to hand it to me. We barely look at each other and we're both nervous at this point.

"Thank you for dinner, I had a great time" I smile.

"Thank you for listening to me" he chuckles.

"I'll let you know as soon as I clear my head, I promise"

"Take as much time as you need, no pressure" he replies and opens the front door.

I step out of his apartment and look at him for a moment. I don't know what else I should say. I'm so confused right now and I'm also afraid of saying anything stupid. This is why we only said goodbye and parted our ways. My thoughts though didn't let me rest all night. Malcolm and I have been friends for the past few years, we've talked about all our crappy and good dates, our crushes, everything.

Could this work between us? Maybe.

I mean, he's really a catch. He's cute, hot, smart, funny. The only reason he's single is because work is eating most of his time, exactly like me, and he hasn't found anyone who's worth it. Or at least that's what he says. I was actually thinking he was really cute when I first started working here but then we became friends and I never really thought about him like that.

I don't want to risk our friendship but is that a good reason to throw this opportunity away?

God, I really need to process everything clearly.

A/N
Sorry the updates are less often than they were but I don't have as much free time as I did. I have the ideas though and I'll keep updating!