Say It For Me Please

. fourteen .

Hello my babiess!! I've come back for you. You guys must miss me right. Hahaha, I'm sexy and I know it!

Wait a minute...since when did I become a sissy. 

Duh, whatever. Its still the same me. Okay now enjoy the story, I know its not going to satisfy your thirst but... just enjoy. 

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As it's a nice weather, I didn't plan on doing anything. Just wanted to cool my head down and enjoyed the nice and warm day. 

But it's not easy you know. Walked down the road, feeling guilty to the people who had been played by me, feeling insecure of those staring eyes. It maybe just my feelings, but you know, it's...its still a feeling right? Yea, I felt like running so fast till the end of the road where no one can find me. I wanna hide in the bushes like when I used to do when being scolded by father. Hide there, cry my tears out till I fell asleep until morning. And coming back home hoping that my parents were worried about me and had been searching for me the entire night.

But that's just my imagination. When I came back, they did their morning routine like nothing happens! Stupid right? Stupid me for thinking that they care about me. Stupid me for always putting high hope in everything. In my parents, in Shizuo....

Nah! Stop ruining the day with your stupid thought Izaya!  This is what I hate about myself. Always thinking about the past. It's already passed! Cannot be changed! Sigh... Maybe I need an ice cream to cool my head down, umm maybe not. I still cannot face these damn people. Sigh... another sigh (annoyed tone). Sigh... Stop with the sigh thing Izaya!  I cupped my face and slicked my hair to the back.

Oh, I had come to the playground without knowing. There were so many kids playing here. I sat there, just observe them like I always do to my people. What a beautiful sound they make, chuckling here and there. It bring a smile to my face.

"Onii-san!" I looked to the boy who called me.

"Could you pass the ball to me?"

I looked to the ball that rolled to my feet. Picking it up. Maybe I should take this chance?

"Hey! Can I join you?" I shouted back to him. The boy looked hesitant then turned his head to his friends. After getting their approval, he shouted back

"Of course! As long as you will be the chaser." with a very big smile on his face.

I didn't know why, but my heart felt bubbly and I felt like I wanna cry. But I'm a man you know! I'm not going to cry in front of the kids. I gave the ball a squeeze of encouragement and take a deep breath. You can do this!! It's your time to shine Izaya!

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Once upon a time, someone said that when you have fun, you will not realize the time passes. Well, it's right I guess. Cause right now, I'm breathing heavily under the orange sky and could barely feel my feet. Man, kids sure have tons of energy.

I lie down on the bench nearby, looking at the beautiful orange stripes. I never thought that playing with kids will be this fun....and tiring. I just stared at the sky, observing the darkness eat away the stripes.

Lonely isn't it. 

Staying alone in the dark.

With no one beside you. 

Reflecting your own sin. 

But didn't know how to atone for it. 

With nobody can help you, nobody can-

"Meow!!!"

"Fuckkk!"

"Meow?"

"You scare the shit out of me kitty!"

Oh god! I felt like my heart was going to explode! It just a cat. A black cat. Totally black cat. Rarely found, but it exist. Okay, stop blabbering Izaya.

He came near me and rubbing his head to my feet while purring. I didn't know why but I felt like the cat was trying to comfort me. It made my eyes suddenly watery. Shit!

"Bad cat. You know how to put a person to tears don't you?"

I took him up to my laps and stare, then kissed the cat. Without my permission, my tears rolled down my cheeks. I trying to suppress my sobbing. But I couldn't help it! It's stings you know, my heart, its hurt. Hurting so much. Like its being torn apart, being trashed, shattered to million pieces. I know I'm a bad guy, evil, cruel. A demon! I don't wanna blame anyone. It's me who supposedly control my emotion, my mind. All of it started with me!

I put my forehead together with the cat and take a deep breath. The cat licks my cheek as it can sense what I feel. Just maybe okay. I thought I already get over this in this several months. Guess not. Just how many years I had been so cruel to get over it for just few months? It needs to be fair. Years creating need years destroying. Am I right?

Well, it's not going to change anything if I stay here. I put down the cat and decided to go back home. Weird isn't it. Home. I have a home! Woww, you hear it man, I had a home to come home now! Wohooo!! Haha... Sounds cheesy to me...and crazy maybe? Whatever.

"Meow!"

The cat followed me?

"Hey blackie, sorry but I don't have anything to give to you", I gently scratch his ears. Hmmm...well~ I could give him something if I bring him back home right? Hah! Brilliant Izaya, brilliant.

"Meow"

Woww, now he could read my mind too?

"Hahaha, whatever kitty. Wanna come home with me?"

He licked my hand and I took that as a yes. Soooo, let's go baby!

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I'm sorry that its just a short chapter. I'm gonna continue to the other scene actually but it's already late in the night and I need to wake up early tomorrow. So.... this is it.

Don't worry. I'm sure will continue it in this week....maybe? eheheh. Okay bye *running fastly*