Don't forget me

Revealing The Truth

I've bitten my nails down to the quicks as I nervously sit in my living room as I wait for Kia to arrive. After disappearing for the last few days, I know both her, Blake and Jake have been desperately trying to contact me to no avail. My phone had been switched off and tucked away as I sketched out my feelings for fourty eight hours, well not really but it may as well have been. My fingers stained grey from the charcoal pencils.

"It'll be fine." I chant to myself over and over until the doorbell rings above my voice, scaring me.

I race to the door as if my life depends on it, wrenching it open to find Kia stood there happily. As she takes in my appearance her face seems to drop a little and as she walks through the door she asks,

"Uhm Jessie are you alright?"

"Yeh uhm I'm fine I just need to get some stuff off my chest before I blow up." I word vomit and Kia just looks at me in confusion before we make our way into my bedroom.

"Uh so are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?" Kia asks in clear confusion.

"I'm going away in two weeks on a volunteer programme to Nepal for three months." I say quickly, the words tumbling out of my mouth, barely stopping for breath.

A frown overtakes Kia's face and her face changes from confusion to sadness.

"Nepal? For three months?"

But then just when I thought the situation couldn't get any worse Kia's face morphs into anger, "Why didn't you tell me!?" She cries.

"I only found out a few days ago Kia, I swear." I tell her, frantically attempting to rescue the direction of the conversation.

"So, the last three days you've what? Spent ignoring all of us so you didn't have to say anything?" She accuses unfairly.

"No Kia nothing like that it's just... When I got the call at yours." I stop right there understanding my mistake the moment Kia shoots me the worst expression I've seen, betrayal.

"You knew. You knew the day you were at mine?" Kia's voice sounds numb and sad, she's no louder angry and instead it feels as if she's given up.

"Kia I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to do and then I said yes and I...I just needed to speak to my Mum." I attempt to explain.

"You know what Jess. You enjoy Nepal and I'll enjoy Oxford." Just like that she walks out of my room and I can hear her retreating steps heading down the stairs and then the slamming of my front door.

I stand in shock as I process what just happened. Guilt floods me entirely as I sit on the end of my bed. Just when I think the whole world is out to get me a small ding seems to lighten the mood just a little.

From Blake-

You around? X

I smile slightly, the boy seems to have some kind of sixth sense when I'm upset.

To Blake-

Yep, park in 10? X

From Blake-

I'll meet you there x

I'm sat on an abandoned bench underneath a large oak tree when I feel warm hands land on my shoulders. I turn to find Blake's grinning face stood behind me and I can't help but allow myself to smile back at his happy expression.

"Hey you." I greet him as he slides beside me and adds a chaste kiss to my forehead.

"Where've you been?" Blake asks hesitantly and I quickly remember that over the last few days I'd been freezing out my friends.

"Yeh sorry about that, I just got a little caught up with uhm... uni applications and stuff. My mind was a bit all over the place." I lie once again. It sees I'm beginning to make a habit out of lying to people.

"You should've said, we could have done something. You know distracted you." He winks and I chuckle,

"I'll keep that in mind for next time."

"Hey, remember that programme I told you about..." I begin as a phone ringing cuts through the conversation.

"Sorry hang on a sec." Blake apologises as he grabs his phone out, his eyebrows furrow at the number on the screen and I presume it's not one he recognises. He answers it anyway.

"Hello?" He calls.

I listen carefully but I can't hear anything over the kids screaming in the park and the birds calling from the tree above us. Blake listens for a few minutes and he seems to be getting more confused by the second.

"I'm sorry," He finally says, "No I don't know what you're on about?"

Another few beats of Blake listening to the person on the other side of the call and then the words that come from Blake's mouth make me regret everything I did at Kia's just a few days ago.

"What video do you mean?"

My mouth drops open in an 'O' and as Blake looks at me, I can see the dots in his head connecting up.

"Look I don't know what this is but please don't contact me again. I don't sing." Blake says gruffly into his phone. He looks pissed.

As he pulls the phone from his ear I begin to speak,

"Look Blake I know this looks bad but..."

"No Jessie," He interrupts, "I clearly told you that I didn't want anyone seeing that and you blatantly ignored me." Blake stands his anger clearing escalating.

"You did this to prove something." He cries suddenly.

"What?" I ask confused, "Prove what exactly?"

"Prove that you were right or something! I don't know I won't pretend I understand you." Blake yells and my heart slumps in my chest.

"Blake I'm sorry ok I didn't realise you would be this upset." I attempt to apologise.

"You know what Jessie. I'm done." Blake turns to leave, and I'm suddenly overcome with anger too. Clearly having two people drop you in one day does that to you,

"Done with what Blake? What even were we? Because I sure as hell don't know." I yell at him, forcing him to come to a standstill.

He turns his head slightly and I'm taken aback by the defeat that now defines his face,

"Well it doesn't matter anymore, does it?" With that Blake walks off into the distance.

I don't expect my grief to appear within the next few moments, but it does and my heart breaks at the thought of losing two people I love in the same day.