Don't forget me

Jump Scares

Tyler and I are having a lazy Saturday morning, he's contentedly sat on the floor playing with his dinosaurs and barbies whilst I binge watch episodes of Outer Banks. My attention however has been divided between the TV and my laptop screen. Late last night I had fallen asleep doing some research into Nepal and contacting some of the previous volunteers that had worked with the Nepal Programme.

My heart seems to ache for the adventure, but my brain tells me that I am needed here. Although Mum may have been the person to tell me about the programme it doesn't necessarily mean that she thought I would go ahead with it. Plus who would take care of Tyler whilst she was working. The idea is completely impossible, but still my mind is going crazy at the opportunities it could bring me.

Shutting the lid of my computer with a sigh, I attempt to drown out my confusion and instead focus on the beautiful cast of Outer Banks.

Tyler has started to get restless, the fleeting distraction of barbies and dinosaurs no longer fulfilling his toddler sized attention-span. It's at this point that my phone dings in notification of a message and I find the culprit to be Blake. My smile is immediate and even Tyler seems to sense this, sitting quietly on my lap for two minutes whilst I read and reply to it.

From Blake-

What are you up to today? X

It's been a few days since I last saw him, but we've been texting back and forth, both us finding little time to meet up.

To Blake-

Baby sitting the little terror, he's bored and decided that attacking me is the best solution :/ x

From Blake-

Why don't we go to the park then? x

To Blake-

Are you sure you're not busy? x

From Blake-

Not if it means I can see you x

I squeal at the last message, my heart lurching at his charming ability. Tyler looks at me as if I've just grown horns, but I ignore him,

"How about a trip to the park buddy?" I ask him and at the sheer thought of the park Tyler is racing to the door to put his shoes on, raring to go.

The park is a small, local kids' playground. A large, playing field surrounds it meaning that there are often older kids kicking a ball around. Today, however, the park is relatively quiet which means spotting Blake is easier than it usually would be. Tyler and I sneak up on him, his back turned to us as he scans the park probably in lookout for us, I lift Tyler by the waist so that he can jump onto his back. Blake, entirely unfazed by the weightless human on his back, pretends to cry out in terror and continues to playfully shake back and forth with Tyler clinging on, giggling in excitement.

As Blake stops, panting for breath, he squats down allowing Tyler to slip off and return safely to the ground. Tyler attempts to disappear off into the park but I grab his hand first,

"Ok Ty, you can go play but you're not to leave the playground unless you're coming back to us ok?"

"Yes Jessie." He groans.

"Alright go play then." Tyler takes off disappearing into one of the climbing frames with the other kids.

I stand up straight and I'm met by Blake's handsome smile,

"What?" I laugh as he continues to stare at me oddly.

"Nothing nothing, I just love the relationship you two have." He smiles, looking in the direction that Tyler disappeared in.

"Yeh well you should see him when he's angry and hungry."

"Oh, the hangry face. Trust me I'm more than used to that with Jake." He laughs in agreement.

"Why do guys get so angry when they're hungry?" I question sarcastically.

"Hey, it's not just the guys." He defends mockingly, both of us laugh at the stupidness of the discussion.

"What've you been up to anyway?" He asks and immediately my mind switches right back to the dilemma I had attempted to distract myself from this morning. Blake must be able to see my inner confliction and takes my hand in comfort,

"Hey what's up?" He asks in concern.

I sigh and decide that he's probably the best person I can tell right now, "It's just uhm... I'm conflicted over a choice that's all."

"And what's this choice?"

"To go to Nepal for three months with a volunteering programme or stay and start university doing subjects I don't really want to do." I finish, slightly dramatically.

"What's the problem?" Blake asks, "You don't know what you want to do at university, so what? Take a year out, go to Nepal." His fingers draw soothing circles over my hand and somehow the issue seems just a bit smaller than before.

"I guess, it's just... I mean who's going to be here for Tyler?" My mind once again wanders to the little terror that's currently wreaking havoc in the park as he chases after a little girl.

"Jess look at me," Blake's other hand comes to my face and I turn to look at him, "You can't live your life looking after others. You've done that for long enough, it's your turn to do what you want."

I nod understanding what he's saying and knowing deep down that I do need to start doing the things I want with my life.

"You should sing more." I say suddenly, Blake is a little shocked at my outburst, but he recovers quickly,

"I don't know... I'm not really good enough to do anything with it Jess. Plus, I'm more likely to make it in the music world by writing stuff not singing it." He attempts to justify his words.

"Surely if you never try, you'd never know?" I ask but he goes quiet at this and I feel a rise in the tension.

"Sorry I don't mean to push you; it just sucks to know how crazy talented you are and for it to go to waste." I explain.

"I know, anyway it won't go to waste if you hear me sing."

"So, you will sing for me again?" I ask happily.

"Hmm maybe." Blake teases,

"You better be joking." I say as I jab him in the side, and he laughs at my expense.

"Come here." Blake snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me close to his side, I turn to face him as he kisses me delicately on my forehead. As stupid as it sounds, it feels as though static crackles between us, and I can't figure out if it's more to do with sexual tension or something more. The atmosphere is broken however, when Tyler arrives in front of us. His innocent little face looks between us both, his eyes homing in on Blake before asking boldly,

"Are you Jessie's boyfriend now?"